Tuesday, May 9, 2023

 Tuesday, May 9, 2023

   Elsa had a 10:30 appointment with Petco today for grooming. I put her on a leash as we left the car because she always had some business to do as we entered the store. She hates being groomed, and the need to go then, and there is a nervous response. She peeded on the pavement right before we entered and pooped as we waited to check-in. The groomer was equipped with a poop bag. I'm sure Elsa isn't the only dog to have soiled their floor.    

      I told the groomer to make sure she removed all the hair from her ears because we were dealing with an ear infection. My friend Carol told me to emphasize the need. She found the groomer did a better job if she said something. 

    The last grooming was five months ago. That's too long. I made on for three months from now to be on the safe side. If I make the appointment at the last minute, there is always a month's wait.  

      I set out on my in-town chores. My first stop was UPS to drop off packing materials, Styrofoam, and bubble wrap. Then I stopped at the bank to change two hundred dollar bills into fives. I like to keep small denominations on hand in case. If inflation happens, it will all be gone quickly. If it's deflation, you need the smallest denominations possible. Not that all my preparation will do much good in the long run.  

      The bank teller was a woman I had never seen before. She asked me if I had a bank account in a slightly accusatory tone. I suspected she thought I was homeless. I was wearing a heavy sweatshirt on a hot day. It was warm enough to go without when I got home. In the meantime, I was going in and out of air conditioning. It took her a minute to find the account. Her demeanor changed when she found it. I don't know what the issue was. I couldn't cheat. I gave her two one hundred dollar bills and asked for the same amount back in fives. What was the issue?

  My next stop was the transfer station. I loaded the car with recyclable cardboard last night. Our transfer station is our pride and joy. When Mike was here, he always dealt with it as if it was a tourist attraction.  Of course then, we could recycle plastic and cans in those days too. Now it's just cardboard and glass. 

     I would have called Petco to see how long it would be before I could pick up Elsa if they answered their phone. They usually don't and didn't today. If it had been another half hour, I would have driven to the Old Airport, parked, and napped. Because I had no way of finding out, I went home. I had done a laundry load in the morning. I quickly hung it on the line. I always line-dry my clothes. Electricity here is costly. We have solar panels, but the dryers eat that energy.

    While I was finishing up, I got a text saying Elsa was ready. I hopped back in the car and drove there to get my girl. She looked just gorgeous. When I smelled her ears, I couldn't detect any infection. When we were at the vet the other day, they performed a test that showed an active bacterial infection, and the doctor said she could smell it. Hopefully, that sweet smell results from healthy ears and not a fading sense of smell on my part.

     When we got home, I took a nap. I had a 3:45 appointment with third-grade J and his sister, first-grade Iz.  J went first. He has been unwilling to work with me because he doesn't want 'therapy.' Sadly, there is a lot of stress at home. I asked his mom to put him in a place where he could be sure our conversation was not overheard so he could speak freely. I thought the car would be a good location; she didn't. He was in his bedroom. She assured him she wouldn't listen.

    I told him he wasn't in therapy because something was wrong with him. In response to his situation, Rage was absolutely reasonable, even a healthy response. Unfortunately, it was dysfunctional. It didn't fix the problem; it made it worse. I wanted to help him deal with the stress. I don't think either of his parents had good strategies for coping with stress. They are both extremely reactive, acting out anger themselves. It's hard. 

     What makes it more challenging in some ways is both his parents deeply care about their children and are often great parents. They run hot and cold. Consistently cold parents could be better; you can give up hope and look elsewhere. That doesn't work here. At the end of the session, he agreed to continue working with me.

    I worked with his sister, first-grade Iz. When I asked her how she was doing in reading, she gave a lukewarm response. I asked her what reading group she was in. Hawaii was using grade-wide homogeneous grouping. Iz was in the second from the highest group. She pointed to a two-syllable word and said she couldn't read that. She read a second-grade passage to me. She did brilliantly- and then fell off the rail. I asked her if that happened a lot. Yes.  

     I asked her, "Do the letters move around?" No. The words do. She said a word will move from one line to the one above or below. I worked with her on the spin release. I asked her if she knew the feeling of fighting to keep the words still. Yes, she did. She did the spin release easily. On the first one, she stopped before the spinning stopped, saying it had slowed. No, wait until it comes to a halt. Then start reading again. The moment it starts again, stop reading and do another spin release, waiting until it stops before you go on reading. 

      I also had to tell her not to do that when reading with her teacher. The education system recognizes letter reversals but not spinning. How do I know about spinning? I did a workshop with Ron Del Davis. He suffered from dyslexia and observed it in himself. After I learned about it from him, I would ask students, "Do the letters move around either in your head or on the page?" Most researchers don't ask students what they are experiencing.

     I spoke to J and Iz's mom after the session. I told her what I found with Iz. "I know she stops focusing." Oh, boy. "No, she doesn't stop focusing. In fact, she works even harder to focus. Reading with a spinning brain is like trying to sort socks in the dryer while spinning." It took a lot of work to get the concept across to her. It is not in the culture at large. When I was a kid, the idea of dyslexia wasn't there either. Someone who had trouble reading was just plain stupid.

       Yvette came up with the two birthday cards I asked her to make for me, one for Judy and one for Cylin.  Yvette makes collage cards. She has a wonderful eye. She could make money from it. Judy's birthday was April 30, and Cylin's was May 1. I asked Yvette to make Judy's with a religious theme. Once she delivered Judy's, I immediately dropped everything and drove up there. 

     I called Paulette first because it was a good time to pick up the water and visit. She didn't answer. I drove up anyway. I let Elsa out at the bottom of the driveway, as I do nowadays. I love to watch her charge up the driveway, anxious to play with  Auntie P. Paulette wasn't in her house. Elsa sat panting at her door, and I called out. It sounded like she was upstairs in Carol's bedroom. She came around the side of the house. She was checking the ground, thinking of planting some flowers at the edge now that the Ficus tree had been cut back and the sun hit that area.

    I went upstairs to deliver my card. Judy sat on the sofa with Leon, reading Little House in the Prairie. When she started working with him, he couldn't stand it when people read to him. Now, while he looked up at me as I entered and spoke to Judy for a moment, he never changed his body posture in anticipation of the story continuing. This is a wonderful change.

     I went back downstairs to visit with Paulette. We moved to the outdoor lanai. Paulette told me stories about her in-laws. Her father-in-law was a most unpleasant person. Besides, being a drunk who spent most of his money at the bar, he was cruel. From one of the stories she told, he was evil. I can't imagine a person I would say that about. Wow!  

     We teach the difference between fact and opinion, but do we teach the difference between objective fact and belief. That's hard for all of us. How can we believe things that are untrue or may be untrue?  We're always standing on shaky ground. It's scary when you deal with people who think they are standing on solid rock.