Thursday, May 4, 2023

 Thursday, May 4, 2023

I woke up around three and had difficulty falling asleep. There is no question that I'm concerned about the state of the world. Politicians are playing chicken with the debt ceiling in the US. I'm not on the side of the Republicans; I don't want support programs to be canceled. Which politician will be the caring mother of Solomon's chalk circle? Hopefully, both will give a little. Otherwise, I anticipate the end of civilization as I know it. No wonder I am doing more household chores. It's something I have control over. I can create order. I am channeling Mike. Now, I know where this burst of energy is coming from, where it always came from, fear. My adrenaline is pumping away.

I had an appointment with the acupuncturist today. Since Scott left early, I didn't get a chance to ask him to prepare his bathroom for a guest. I decided to get mine ready for one. Most guests prefer his to mine; mine is a little unconventional. The outside wall is all clear glass. It's Mike's and my version of an outdoor shower. A glass brick wall is all that separates the universal shower from the toilet. It protects the toilet from the shower and anyone sitting on it from being seen from the outside- not that anyone could. The outdoor lanai is bordered by trees and high shrubs.  

The other features of the bathroom that might make someone uncomfortable are the only access to that bathroom is through our bedroom, and there is no door between the bathroom and the bedroom. Mike and I designed it for easy wheelchair access should we ever need it. 

The acupuncturist asked me what my concerns were. I had no specific discomfort. I showed her how I sit when writing. I recently became aware that I lean on my left arm a lot instead of supporting myself with my core muscles. She spent time working on my left shoulder muscles.

I asked her if I looked fatter to her. I asked Casey and Scott that question during driveway yoga. "Since neither of you guys are married to me, you don't have to fear retribution. Do I look fatter?" They said no. I had gained ten pounds in three months and an inch and a half on my waist. The acupuncturist said I didn't look fatter, but I did look thicker in the middle. That was a metabolic problem. Have there been any changes in my diet? Yes. When I visited my cousins in Honolulu, Lauren made me a delicious fruit salad with coconut yogurt and granola. Yum, yum. What could be wrong with a fruit salad? Why fruit should cause this weight gain when all the Hersey's milk chocolate nuggets with almonds hadn't was beyond me. She asked if my chocolate consumption had stayed the same. Yes, it had. My weight gain in the middle section meant my pancreas couldn't handle the extra sugar of the fruit salad. It indicated insulin resistance. 

      A week ago, I had routine lab tests. They showed I was prediabetic, just over the line. I had been there once before. Subsequent results were normal, so I didn't worry about it. I wouldn't have worried about this one either if it wasn't for the weight gain and the acupuncturist's feedback. I would have to make some changes to my diet.

I told Lutz about my prediabetic diagnosis. He is always a fund of information, particularly on medical ues issues and, more generally, on anything scientific. He recommended I get on metformin. It is only effective on prediabetics, not people who aren't or people with full-blown diabetes. Those who take it see improved numbers and experience longer life than expected. I checked it on the internet. The only negative consequence of taking high doses over a prolonged period I found in one article was a decrease in Vit B12 absorption. However, another article I read detailed many more side effects: nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, constipation, lactic acidosis, which can be fatal, flatulence, stomach pain, possible bloody stool, heartburn, weight loss due to nausea and vomiting, a metallic taste, reduced Vit B 12 absorption, and in rare cases fever and chills. All that boils down to digestive tract problems. The article did give some statistics, but they claimed this medication is a standard treatment for diabetics, not prediabetics. Hmm! This doesn't sound great.

Lutz told me that in Thailand, doctors do not prescribe medicine. They write down the diagnosis on their pads. The patient takes that to the pharmacist, who determines the appropriate medication. He says it's a better system than we have here. Each practitioner is an expert in their own field. Doctors don't have to know everything about pharmacology; they can focus on diagnosing the problem.

Damon called. The storyboard for Bad Guys II is ready for presentation. If approved, they will have the green light to go into production.

Damon sent me August's music video. I heard about it from Jean, my Hanai sister, and his grandmother. She said it required repeated listenings to get it. I asked Damon to send it to me, too. He was surprised I hadn't received it. He thought he had sent it to everyone he knew. I liked much of it immediately. It reminded me of Philip Glass's music. I love that. I was somewhat put off by the percussion. It was too strident for me. I learned from Jean and then Damon that August has been invited to write a research paper with a professor. He's a sophomore. That privilege is usually reserved for seniors.   I have heard of cases where the students do all the research and writing, and the professor takes all the credit, never mentioning their role in it. I always enjoy speaking to Damon.

I was supposed to meet with third-grade KPS. When she didn't sign in, I texted her grandmother. She thought we were meeting on Saturday instead of Thursday. My bad. I had texted her asking her to meet on Saturday. In my mind, it meant instead of Sunday. I planned to go to Hilo with B to see a play his grandson is in. I didn't make that clear in my text. 

Friday, May 5, 2023 

I slept well and got up around seven-thirty, although I could have stayed in bed longer. I dropped two pounds as of today from my high of one hundred forty-nine lbs.   I eliminated all sugar. I didn’t have my lemonade with two teaspoons of honey, no Hershey’s milk chocolate nuggets with almonds, and no fruit salad. I’m sure there’s sugar in something I ate. I also didn’t eat dinner. I wasn’t hungry. Usually, I’m hungry most of the day. It was the Herys that finally slated it. Guess I should have known. I checked blood sugar monitors online. I can get one without a prescription, but they’re expensive. I want to check if I can get them through Kaiser first. 

I had an appointment with Shelly. I dealt with feelings of hatred. I felt a cold inner hatred from and for some people. It’s distressing.   I had an experience confronting this feeling before. It was terrifying. It was at the end of a ten-day silent meditation retreat. The final meditation was a metta, a meditation on loving-kindness. Once this meditation was over, the participants filed out and started talking to each other. I  envisioned myself filled with paranoia, slinking along the walls and giving everyone the stink eye. I looked crazy as a loon. I said, “God, you got me into this mess. You get me out.” The thought that came to me was, “You’re scared. Live with it.”  That worked. I got up, walked out, and behaved in delightfully social ways, thoroughly enjoying every encounter. The thrill of long sits is you get to see aspects of yourself that are less than wonderful. But that’s one of the good points. You face your demons and, with any luck, heal.

Adolescent D’s mom had told me he was way behind in his assignments. I asked if I could help. He said no; he had math to do, and I couldn’t help. He said he had to read an article and take notes. I could help with that. I helped him read it. He said he usually listens to the article being read on the computer. We reviewed the assignment; he had to take two notes on the introduction, ten on the final section, etc. I went over the article and said that you need a note for each paragraph in the introduction. In the section where he needed ten notes, there were five paragraphs. You need two notes for each paragraph there. Then we signed out. While he listened to the article on the computer, compensating for his poor reading, I finished reading the article. You’ve got to be kidding me. The article was from Scientific American. If I had that assignment when I was in ninth grade, I would have been begging my dad to help me. The vocabulary! The syntax! What was this teacher thinking?!

We signed into Zoom again after half an hour. He had taken notes on the two paragraphs in the introduction. I told him how hard I thought the article was. He said he would do more work on his own. I asked him to text me when I did some. He did more work and texted me.

I finished off the chicken breast I broiled two days ago. Remind me never to buy chicken breasts again. I’ve never been a big fan of white meat. I prefer the back and legs. By this time, the chicken was dried out. I spiced it up with the tapenade I bought at the health food store.