Wednesday, March 22, 2023

 Wednesday, March 22, 2023

I was up shortly before seven. If I didn't have Elsa and the updates, I doubt I'd get out of bed until it was time for an appointment. On my morning walk, I made it up to the second fire hydrant on Kukuna without trouble. That was surprising since the pain in the bottom of the ribs on my left side was active.

  That pain is connected to the problems with my left shoulder. Katie, my PT, thought I had issues with my left shoulder because of all my time on the computer. The shoulder distortion was to protect my neck. Given the connection between my shoulder and the pain in my ribs, I suspect that is the connection; the rest is peripheral. I discovered that I use my left arm to support myself. It's always locked in one position or another. I don't know if this is in response to the spinal curvature that has me listing to the left or if the spinal curvature is caused by my left shoulder response to the rib injury I suffered when I was ten. It can be a little of both. Either way, I work on unwinding.

   I called one of the local public schools this morning to report a possible predatory situation. They have a vulnerable nine-year-old boy who spends much time talking to his 'brother' on his phone. What older brother of a nine-year-old spends hours talking to him no matter how much he cares about him? It may be the case, but it warrants being checked.

  I found out about the situation through the daughter of a friend of mine. She had the boy, a classmate of her son's, over for dinner. She knew already that he was often not in school. She had seen him wandering on Ali'i Street during school hours. When she had him over, she learned the refrigerator in his house is usually empty, and his sister spends all her time in her room when she's not in school. She goes to school by bus. The mom must pay for that. There must be some support from home. At one point, my friend told the kids to put their phones away so they could all watch TV together. She asked what the boy did on his phone. He 'talked to his brother." Oh, boy. This child is a perfect target for a predator.

  I had another incident like that earlier this week. Third-grade KPS told me that her mother yells at her and hits her when she sees her two days a week. I told KPS she had to tell someone and only visit her mother when other people were around, so she couldn't behave that way. KPS was opposed to that. I could lose my license for not reporting it if I were a mandated reporter. Since I am no longer licensed, I let it lapse. Therefore, I have no worries. I am inclined not to tell anyone without her permission. I assume I am the only one she has trusted with the information. I don't want to violate that trust. However, I am worried about KPS.  

  In response to her description of her mother's treatment of her, I told her my story. My mom didn't hit me, but she berated me constantly. I wanted the child to know that having a good life after childhood is possible, even if it is sh-t now. I also told her how brave she was. She was seeing a therapist. KPS said the therapist wasn't helpful, but she liked her and enjoyed visiting. At the end of the session, I asked if I could pray for her. We sat in silence for a few minutes while I did. She said it made her feel better. I don't know if what I did was helpful.

  I encouraged KPS to tell her grandmother about what was happening when she visits her mother. Now, I will continue to support her and slowly introduce the idea that she can set limits on her mother's behavior. The girl's father is already dead. This makes me suspect that the problem with both her parents was drugs. I can't guarantee that things will go well when she sets limits. The mom is one sick puppy. Who knows what kind of action she would take against the girl or against herself?

  I had an appointment with Shelly at 10 a.m. I discussed the two situations mentioned above. She agreed I did my best with the boy who speaks to his "brother." That has to be investigated. She also supported my not sharing KPS's information about her mother. Shelly worked in an agency for children in distress. She said some of the agency's solutions for the kids were worse than their situation with their families. She also said it was important that I not violate the child's trust. From what she said, I was the only one she shared this information with. I hope to guide her through this situation. I also hoped I wouldn't be pulled off the case because she was talking about this to me.

  At 12:30, I had an appointment with my acupuncturist. She worked on my sore ribs. I injured them when I "fell" last week. Fell is in quotes because I didn't fall. I lowered myself to the ground quickly. I was afraid I was going to be knocked over by surrounding dogs. In defense, I chose to get myself down to the ground before they toppled me. It wasn't a conscious choice. At first, I thought I had been knocked over by the animals. I felt a sharp pain in my ribs when I got down there. Why? No one understands how that happened. My ribs never hit anything.

  They got better over the week. Then they started hurting again on Monday night. It took me a while to figure out that I had reinflamed them when trimming the vastly overgrown lavender. The acupuncturist worked in the area around the sore ribs.

      I spoke to Adolescent D's mother the other day. She complained about his work habits. This is the first time she has shared these details. The bad news is his work habits are atrocious. The good news is his mom is complaining. The bad habits of others only bother me once the person is ready to make those changes himself.

   She told me D delays doing any work. He will then do some of it and not complete the work. Worst yet, even when he has done some, he won't hand it in or posts it incorrectly. I spoke to him about these behaviors in our session. He said he doesn't want to hand in half-finished work because "It's weird" to do so. Oh, boy.

  In addition to these poor work habits, there was the way he responded to a recent assignment. He was taking a videography class. He completed one assignment. The assignment was to make a video of an interview with someone. He would be the interviewer. He told his mom he planned to request a waiver because he couldn't think of anything. His mom told him he couldn't do that; it was an assignment. His mom was at his side in an online session. The teacher asked all the students whom they planned to interview. D was last. He asked for a waiver. The teacher's response was what his mom told him it would be. When I spoke to him, he said he didn't want to do it because it was weird. He has a stunningly limited comfort zone. Moving out of it is beyond his capacity. To this day, he still doesn't allow me to see him on video. His mom says the school demands he show his face on Zoom so the teacher can monitor student attention. D only allows himself to be seen from his eyes up and wears a hat to cover his hair, which he hates. His introverted personality is so extreme as to be dangerous for him.

  I was exhausted before the session with D.  I called Mama K to cancel my session with her kids. I have never done that before.