Tuesday, March 21, 2023

 Tuesday, March 21, 2023

     I was tired by the time I got up this morning. That heaviness stayed with me all day. It wasn’t until the end that I figured out a possible reason. The bereavement group met today. I like some of the people in the group and could be friends with them, but the leader bothers me. The first time I went, she ran the group like a class; she lectured. I interrupted her and said I would like to hear from the participants. She said she didn’t want to force anyone to speak. I told her she could create space for them to do so. She then asked if anyone wanted to speak. Several people raised their hands.

  Today’s session was quite different. It was run as a support group. The participants did most of the talking. However, I mentioned my journal writing. I write about my day. She said most people write about their grief over their loss. Maybe she learns from me, but I feel alienated in that group. I see others like me who don’t see grief as a Hallmark sympathy card. I don’t like the feeling of having a radically different point of view than the leader. That has not gone well for me in the past.

 I had an appointment with J and Iz. Mama Ke said this would be the last session. She wasn’t willing to battle with the kids and didn’t want to continue. When Mama Ke tried to sign on to the Zoom meeting, she discovered the dog had chewed the connecting cord and the laptop. We met over Facetime. I had planned to evaluate Iz’s reading. I suspected her word recognition skills were on a second-grade level. I wanted to check it out. Because we were on Facetime rather than Zoom, I couldn’t share the documents I prepared. She asked if she could read a book her preschool teacher gave her when she graduated. There were lots of big words in it. There was no way she could read them on her own. I tried to check the reading level of the book online. I only found out that it was a picture book for preschoolers. I stopped her from reading and told her that while her preschool teacher had given her the book, it wasn’t at a preschool reading level. These books are designed to be read by adults. It allows adults to introduce children to complex language and vocabulary. It must be at least on a third-grade reading level. I asked Iz if she wanted to stop working with me. She said no.    

   Then, I worked with third-grade J. His mom said he didn’t want to work with me anymore. Despite being in a stressful situation, he hadn’t had any anger issues since our last session. But when I asked him if he disliked working with me. He said no, he just didn’t need it anymore. Later on, the mom said she had money issues. I suspect that was her reason for not continuing. I assured her money wasn’t an issue. If she could pay me fine. I was more concerned about the children. She made an appointment for a month from now.

  I  had a make-up appointment with Adolescent D. He had just fallen asleep and missed the appointment. He never does that. His mom said he had been bitten by a carpenter bee. That was the only possible explanation. I needed no explanation. D never ever misses an appointment. These sessions are often grueling for him, and he is never impolite or dismissive. We’ve been working together for over two years. This is the first time this has happened. There is more than enough room for error.

  We worked on Phase I today. He did much better at identifying the number of syllables in a word. However, sometimes, he lapsed and identified the individual phonemes instead of the syllables. In Phase I, I say the word. He must identify the number of syllables, the individual sounds (phonemes) in each syllable, and the letters representing the sounds. He had the greatest problem identifying the individual sounds. He always wanted to give the letter and avoid wrestling with the sound. I have to find some way to make it more accessible for him.