Wednesday, December 6, 2023

Wednesday, December 6, 2023

 

    While on my evening walk with Darby, someone ran to catch up to us, calling my name. It was Melissa, who lived in the ohana across the street from Darby. We knew she was facing eviction. Her landlord wanted her out. We wished her well the other day. But tonight, she shared additional bad news. Her husband, Jerry, had died the week before.  

   She came home from work to find him napping. She knew never to wake him from a nap. Concerned, she went to wake him after dinner. It was then she realized something was terribly wrong. She thought it strange that he chose to sleep on her side of the bed earlier, but when she looked carefully, she saw his arm hanging in a peculiar position. Then she saw his face and knew. She touched him to find he was ice cold. She called a friend to come over. It was she who called the police. Despite the bulge at the side of his neck where the blood pooled from a stroke, an autopsy was required because he wasn’t under a doctor’s care. They estimated the time of death at four pm.

   I left earlier than usual for my early morning walk because I had driveway yoga at seven. I ran into Vince, who told me a different version of the story of Jerry’s death. The friend who came to help Melissa was Vince’s sister-in-law. I figured Melissa’s was the more accurate, but I kept my mouth shut.

    Jean’s daughter was told she had to go to the hospital on something like Friday. She wanted to wait till Sunday night when her kids went to their dad’s for the week. When I spoke to Jean on Tuesday, she told me the doctor said her daughter only had a fifty-fifty chance of living. Jean made flight reservations immediately. She called me Wednesday morning while I was in yoga to tell me her daughter’s death was inevitable. Her liver had failed completely. It was a matter of days or weeks before the end. I stayed inside and wept. Kelly was forty-three with a ten-year-old and a seven-year-old. Yvette knew Kelly. The news hit her hard, too; she canceled the rest of the class.

   Today was the first kupuna mahjong meeting. It’s a new ministry through the church, bonding us old folks so we provide mutual support. I showed up a bit late. Everyone had already had a lesson. There were two groups. I caught on quickly. I saw the game as comparable to Rummikub, with some different rituals.

    In my session today with Adolescent D, we started with a new article on Biden’s open discussion of grief. They listed all the presidents who lost children in the White House: Adams, Lincoln, Coolidge, and Kennedy. Pierce lost a child while traveling to attend his inauguration. What a statistic!

   D struggled with a letter sequence. We continue practicing cross-body blending, but he remains reluctant to use it. It continues to be a struggle when he has to use his conscious mind to decode. The best we can hope for is each practice moment teaches the unconscious mind what to do.

   Today was a Ulu Wini day. I worked with five kids. Two had comprehension problems; the rest had issues with memory. Hakana was absent today. The social workers who run the community center ran the program. One was sitting close to me as I worked. As I was leaving, she suggested setting up a formal schedule. I objected. I showed her my list. I worked with over thirty kids since I started. I prefer it when the kids come to me when they wish or are ordered to do so for the day. I like working with them for short sessions that end when they look distracted. If they have been concentrating up to that point, I figure they’ve had as much as they can absorb for the day.

   While several people wished me a happy birthday yesterday, Judy and Paulette forgot. Today, I told Judy she had forgotten because I knew she would be very upset when she realized what she had. I told her I wasn’t concerned. She gave me so much on a daily basis. That was worth so much more to me.