Thursday, May 9, 2024
I had a long talk with twenty-six year old's mom the other day. When I texted to say I was ready for my appointment with S, her mom texted me to say S would be right there. I have often asked S if she was still sleeping at 9 or 10 in the morning. She always says no; she was up long ago, which would make sense since she has a three-year-old child. I have been frustrated with her mom for treating her like a helpless child. She needed to be weaned from her dependency. I advised harsh responses. Now, I regret my words. S, her sister, and their children could wind up homeless. The mom told me she had rescued her older daughter and her grandchild from homelessness. The older daughter has a car and mobility and spends her days at the beach with friends. Growing up is not an option, but she won't get a job.
I didn't have S today because she had a dental appointment.
I had a Zoom meeting with the 80s club. It's a small group of people from all over the world who meet to chat about issues affecting people over eighty. One man had brain surgery earlier this month. He didn't have cancer, but he had a problem with the outer lining of his brain. It was swollen. I told him I felt I was recovering from eight hours under anesthesia in June. It would take time. He thanked me for that information.
The topics revolved around interesting things we were doing with our lives. It was a chatty meeting, not much more, and I didn't find it particularly gratifying.
I had Ulu Wini in the afternoon. I left before 1:30 to stop off at the Civic Center to get my kapuna (senior) card. I was officially grouped with people in my age bracket. This was the first time I felt old and somewhat discarded. I prefer a social environment where all people of all ages are equals. It took more time than I expected to get the card.
The youngest friend I have had since I moved to Hawaii is Isaac; he is 22, young enough to be my great-grandson. It was somewhat weird, mostly because our personalities were an odd mixture of very much alike and very different in ways that made us both compatible and uncomfortable. Most of my friends are no more than twenty years my junior, and some are older.
Because the stop at the Civic Center took longer than expected, I arrived late at Ulu Wini. The objective is to get there before the school bus so I don't have to wait until the bus is completely unloaded before pulling into the parking lot.
First-grade JY came right up to me. She wanted to continue working on memorizing the 1-50 sight word list. She got 100% on the first 25 words last time, which was already an improvement. I asked her if I had done something to help. She said yes. I should be used to this. I've been in the business for over sixty years and always see improvements like this. Today, she did better with words 26-50 list, too.
Fifth-grade RM came next. I noticed she might need some help decoding multisyllabic words. I set out to teach her my six-step procedure. She did well decoding long words without my instruction. She said her teacher had told her to use the vowels to determine the syllables. She reported improvement in comprehension when using visualizations. We read another passage from Barnell-Loft's fifth-grade book. She needed help with vocabulary words: pests, crops, and hordes. She needed help understanding the referent of a pronoun. I need to work more on that with her. Next time I meet with her, I will do a color-coding activity, using a single color for each noun and all alternative references to that noun, either pronouns or other words that describe that object.
First-grade KJ came to work with me. I hadn't seen her for a while. She didn't need my help. She is working above grade level now and loving every minute of it.
I had to leave at 3:30 because I had a same-day appointment with Dr. Reed at 4 p.m. I wanted to check two issues. I wanted her opinion on ketamine for me, and I wanted her to check me for eczema. Judy sent me two videos on ketamine. She said it is supposed to be good for PTSD. It's unclear what my problem is these days. It doesn't look like depression, which ketamine is supposed to help. I'm active and can enjoy things. My tendency to fall into rumination is as old as I am, as are the negative feelings it brings up. The worst are the feelings of acute loneliness, both familiar and new. I don't know if anyone escapes this pattern without considerable effort. I'm making this effort now. To deal with the feelings when they come up, with or without rumination.
On that note, tonight, we celebrated Gayle's 80th birthday. It was a delight. We had it in my house. Lutz prepared pita sandwiches, and I provided a large slice of chocolate cake. The baker at Safeway wrote Happy Birthday Gail on it. We only discovered afterward that she spelled her name Gayle. Oh, well. I hope the number of candles (80) made up for the faux pas.
I loved having this crew. It was so healing. Gayle was the first to comment on how well we all got along. Then Lutz said we were all independent, and there were no sociopaths among us. I said no one tried to dominate. It was Darby who commented on how well we worked together putting on this event. The suggestions just flowed, and we all flowed with them. It was easy.
Lutz and Darby have more than passed my friendship test: Can we say what we like and don't like to each other and reconcile? The answer is yes. I suspect I can do it with Gayle, too, because she has told Lutz to stop talking when he speaks about a somewhat cruel practical he pulled on someone. None of us like that in Lutz. He thinks he's funny. My mom had this trait. Is it just a German thing? It's a bit sadistic.
Thursday, May 9, 2024
I had a long talk with twenty-six year old's mom the other day. When I texted to say I was ready for my appointment with S, her mom texted me to say S would be right there. I have often asked S if she was still sleeping at 9 or 10 in the morning. She always says no; she was up long ago, which would make sense since she has a three-year-old child. I have been frustrated with her mom for treating her like a helpless child. She needed to be weaned from her dependency. I advised harsh responses. Now, I regret my words. S, her sister, and their children could wind up homeless. The mom told me she had rescued her older daughter and her grandchild from homelessness. The older daughter has a car and mobility and spends her days at the beach with friends. Growing up is not an option, but she won't get a job.
I didn't have S today because she had a dental appointment.
I had a Zoom meeting with the 80s club. It's a small group of people from all over the world who meet to chat about issues affecting people over eighty. One man had brain surgery earlier this month. He didn't have cancer, but he had a problem with the outer lining of his brain. It was swollen. I told him I felt I was recovering from eight hours under anesthesia in June. It would take time. He thanked me for that information.
The topics revolved around interesting things we were doing with our lives. It was a chatty meeting, not much more, and I didn't find it particularly gratifying.
I had Ulu Wini in the afternoon. I left before 1:30 to stop off at the Civic Center to get my kapuna (senior) card. I was officially grouped with people in my age bracket. This was the first time I felt old and somewhat discarded. I prefer a social environment where all people of all ages are equals. It took more time than I expected to get the card.
The youngest friend I have had since I moved to Hawaii is Isaac; he is 22, young enough to be my great-grandson. It was somewhat weird, mostly because our personalities were an odd mixture of very much alike and very different in ways that made us both compatible and uncomfortable. Most of my friends are no more than twenty years my junior, and some are older.
Because the stop at the Civic Center took longer than expected, I arrived late at Ulu Wini. The objective is to get there before the school bus so I don't have to wait until the bus is completely unloaded before pulling into the parking lot.
First-grade JY came right up to me. She wanted to continue working on memorizing the 1-50 sight word list. She got 100% on the first 25 words last time, which was already an improvement. I asked her if I had done something to help. She said yes. I should be used to this. I've been in the business for over sixty years and always see improvements like this. Today, she did better with words 26-50 list, too.
Fifth-grade RM came next. I noticed she might need some help decoding multisyllabic words. I set out to teach her my six-step procedure. She did well decoding long words without my instruction. She said her teacher had told her to use the vowels to determine the syllables. She reported improvement in comprehension when using visualizations. We read another passage from Barnell-Loft's fifth-grade book. She needed help with vocabulary words: pests, crops, and hordes. She needed help understanding the referent of a pronoun. I need to work more on that with her. Next time I meet with her, I will do a color-coding activity, using a single color for each noun and all alternative references to that noun, either pronouns or other words that describe that object.
First-grade KJ came to work with me. I hadn't seen her for a while. She didn't need my help. She is working above grade level now and loving every minute of it.
I had to leave at 3:30 because I had a same-day appointment with Dr. Reed at 4 p.m. I wanted to check two issues. I wanted her opinion on ketamine for me, and I wanted her to check me for eczema. Judy sent me two videos on ketamine. She said it is supposed to be good for PTSD. It's unclear what my problem is these days. It doesn't look like depression, which ketamine is supposed to help. I'm active and can enjoy things. My tendency to fall into rumination is as old as I am, as are the negative feelings it brings up. The worst are the feelings of acute loneliness, both familiar and new. I don't know if anyone escapes this pattern without considerable effort. I'm making this effort now. To deal with the feelings when they come up, with or without rumination.
On that note, tonight, we celebrated Gayle's 80th birthday. It was a delight. We had it in my house. Lutz prepared pita sandwiches, and I provided a large slice of chocolate cake. The baker at Safeway wrote Happy Birthday Gail on it. We only discovered afterward that she spelled her name Gayle. Oh, well. I hope the number of candles (80) made up for the faux pas.
I loved having this crew. It was so healing. Gayle was the first to comment on how well we all got along. Then Lutz said we were all independent, and there were no sociopaths among us. I said no one tried to dominate. It was Darby who commented on how well we worked together putting on this event. The suggestions just flowed, and we all flowed with them. It was easy.
Lutz and Darby have more than passed my friendship test: Can we say what we like and don't like to each other and reconcile? The answer is yes. I suspect I can do it with Gayle, too, because she has told Lutz to stop talking when he speaks about a somewhat cruel practical he pulled on someone. None of us like that in Lutz. He thinks he's funny. My mom had this trait. Is it just a German thing? It's a bit sadistic.
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