Mike's death; Betty's life...

Tuesday, March 10, 2026

Sunday, October 16, 2022

Boy, was I ever in a great mood today! I’d say I was bipolar if my mood swings were greater and if they affected my behavior. Today, I was exceptionally at peace with whatever. I’d say I was delusional, given what was happening worldwide. But a delusional day is good every once in a while.

The left ankle bothered me a little, but not so badly that I couldn’t complete over three thousand steps on my morning walk. I ran into one of my walking acquaintances I hadn’t seen in a while. “Mary Ann?” She said, “No. Think of a spice.” “Ah, Rosemary.” We talked at length today. She was a little nervous around Elsa and explained that two dogs had attacked her. She is a mobile notary. She arrived at someone’s house before they did. When they opened the door to go in, the dogs came bounding out and attacked. She was now afraid of dogs she didn’t know. I needed a notary to sign the legal document. I asked her how much she charged. She said, “Oh, I do it for free for friends if it’s not too complicated.”

The stats on visitors to my blog were zero for the last two days, and today, they were one hundred forty-four. Unless the number is over one hundred tomorrow, I was sure a bot hit me. Why do they show up in such large numbers? On the other hand, I questioned the zero, too. I hadn’t seen that since the first year of the blog. It is clear now that the large numbers I saw consistently were because a teacher had assigned them. That teacher was either no longer teaching or done with my blog.

Before I left for church, I did two rounds of Wordle and a pot of boiling water on my recently cut-down haole koa. The shorter trees were still not putting up new shoots, and I hadn’t dumped boiling water on them for about a week. The jury is still out on the effectiveness of this method.

After church, I ran into Scott as he waited for his mom to come out of the bathroom. I knew through his wife that he had dislocated his hip after getting a replacement doing Bikram. I asked him if he had an anterior or posterior approach. He had an anterior, as I did. His doctor assured him he could do anything. The hip dislocated while doing the camel pose. Scott said he told the doctor he did Bikram, and that was fine. The doctor takes the blame for the error in judgment. Scott told me the new hip bothered him, but nothing like his old hip did before the surgery. He was in agony. He couldn’t walk anymore. Since that pain was not my problem before the surgery, I wouldn’t be as thrilled if the replacement didn’t provide a much greater range of motion than my arthritic one. After I walked away, I started thinking of questions I wanted to ask Scott. How long after his surgery did he do the yoga? Why can’t the doctor remove this damagd hip replacement and put in a new one?

I agreed to meet a friend at church. We went out for coffee afterward. I had a fruit smoothie, and we shared an almond muffin. Her life is quite an adventure. She was born in Hungry, spent time in Ukraine living with a poor family in her teens, living only on freshly picked mushrooms and just caught fish, saw what was going on in Russia with Putin and decided to move to the United States because it was the only place you could say what you wanted to. A much older man offered to marry her to get a green card. It wasn’t a fake marriage, except for the intimacy. They lived together for over ten years, helping each other. They were each other’s significant other, even if it wasn’t a traditional marriage arrangement.

Her husband died last year. As far as she could figure out, it was on October 28. She had moved out because he became impossible to live with. She continued bringing him prepared food every day. He would taste it and throw it on the floor. He called the police and asked them to stop her from bringing him food. She stopped. She got a call in November from the neighbors. When they went into the apartment, they found him dead. The coroner figured he had been dead for at least a month. He had died of starvation.

Because her husband died in the apartment and lay there decaying for a month, a hazmat unit removed everything, including the plumbing, the sheetrock, and the flooring. I had no idea that could happen. She moved into the apartment once it was cleared and started the reconstruction.

A man came to the door, offering her a fan. She spoke with him at length. He was curious about what was going on. He saw materials being brought to her door every day. He couldn’t understand how that much material could go on in such a small apartment. She discovered he was a handyman and offered him free room and board to work on the apartment. He was an evangelical Christian, and she was a devout Catholic. He was bent on showing her the error of her ways.

M & W’s mom texted to ask if we could meet at 4 p.m. instead of 2. That was fine with me. I’d just come home from church and anticipated needing a nap. Although, I hadn’t seemed to need them as much lately. It was probably part of my mood swing phenom.

When the girls signed on at 4 p.m., I saw them sitting in a car. They were far from home. Second grade M had participated in a basketball contest. They were waiting in the take-out line at Panda Express for a late lunch.

With second grade M, I continued with WbyW. Today, it was a lot of thinking. What does weight measure? How much do you think a robin weighs? I guessed 4 oz; she guessed a pound after having first guessed twenty pounds and then ten. I looked up the answer: 2. 7 oz. Then the question was, would a baby robin weigh more or less than an adult? This was challenging for her. The final question was, “If a baby robin ate more than its weight in food, did the food weigh more or less than the baby robin.

With sixth-grade W, I continued with the Gating Game using material from her assigned book, the Westing Game. We discussed the information we got. Today was the author’s point of view. Did the author think Angela or Tuttle got the better deal? Their mom was terrible to both of them, but which one had a better chance of having a decent life as an adult? We agreed under normal circumstances, neither would have a good chance. Angela was under her mother’s total control. Turtle was not only neglected, but she was also constantly told she was defective and worthless. The author had a bias. My best guess is she had experience with an overly involved, controlling mom.

Darby called to tell me she put a papaya out for me in a bag. When she puts limes out for me to pick up, she leaves them on a rock under her mailbox in plain view to passersby. She tried that with the papayas. No luck! They were snatched by keen-eyed walkers. Now she calls, warns me, and puts them in a bag with my name.

Saturday, October 15, 2022

I felt great yesterday and slept like a baby all night. I woke up feeling great around 4:30 and started my in-bed exercises to open my hips and strengthen my thigh muscles. I loved lounging in bed. I felt no guilt no and no dread about getting up. I fell asleep while exercising because I did a savasana after every prolonged stretch.

On my morning walk, I went up the hill on Kukuna even though my ankle bothered me after the morning stretches. It’s my calf muscle that gets triggered, and that affects my ankle.

I ran into Laura and Kent on my walk. They were newbies to the neighborhood. Laura just arrived last night. Kent had been here about a week. They’re both nurses—Ken’s retired, and Nora’s teaching online classes. The island hospitals needed nurses. I asked her if she would consider working. She said, “No way! The salary here is lower than what she made on the mainland thirty years ago.” Holy cow! The salaries here are low and the cost of living high. Also, it is impossible to find housing. Why would anyone come here?

As I came down Punawele, Jackie pulled out of her driveway. She recognized me and stopped to talk. We introduced ourselves when she was out gardening on one of my walks. Isaac also befriended her and tried to hook the two of us up. Isaac gave me Jackie’s number. It never felt suitable to reach out. As I passed her house one morning, I caught her out front weeding again. I asked her if she was Jackie, and we connected. She gave me her telephone number, and I called it. That way, we had each other’s numbers. When I got home, I made sure she had mine. She called later in the afternoon and commented on how different I sounded. She confused me with another Betty she knew. She assumed my information was a new contact number for her old friend. Massive confusion. Today, she told me she couldn’t find my number. She wanted to arrange to walk with me. We’ll see. It sounds like she is technologically challenged.

I called my Hanai sister, Jean to tell her how I felt better. Wow! I slept like a baby last night. I was peaceful. Then, this morning, I discovered most of my solar panels were down. As if that wasn’t bad enough, someone said something that upset me. I was so vulnerable. I hadn’t felt this way in years. I felt hair-trigger again. I don’t think I’m acting out as much. People didn’t seem to know I was fragile. I was presenting as intact when I felt like I was coming apart, literally. It felt like I was shaking loose inside. I dealt with it through meditation, talks with friends, and CDB oil pills.

I shared my mental state with my friend Melissa. She’s a doctor. She said it sounded pretty normal given the loss of Mike and what everyone has gone through with Covid. I hated the feeling of being so wired that everything made me jump. That’s how I lived my childhood. It was horrible.

My friend Melissa regaled me with incredible stories of her time in med school in the 1970s. She had a young baby and was nursing; she took her to all her classes. The little girl was a doll, generally peaceful and non-disruptive. When it came time for the class to sit for their boards, their instructor insisted the class vote on whether Melissa should be allowed to take hers with the rest of the class. The baby would be there. The class voted yes. In the 1970s, that class had to be almost 100% male. In medical school, tolerating a female, no less one with a baby in tow was amazing. It’s quite a story.

Today’s Wordle Word was one of those with many possibilities. When dealing with four or five words that could fit but with only two more turns, I do eeny meany miny moe. My mother picked the right one.

I bathed Elsa Today. Only eight days since her last bath. I should do it more frequently to help contain her skin lesions.

I figured out how to sign on to Apple TV to watch Ted Lasso, which Damon recommended. He said I would love it.

I put off completing a legal document because there was something wrong with the formatting on the computer. The margins weren’t under control. Pages one through three had them one way, and pages four through six another, even though the margin icon showed them as the same. I tried varying ways to deal with the problem. I copied the first three pages into a new document and tried to recopy the last three pages. The same malformed format showed up immediately. I had no idea how to circumvent the problem. I would type the last three pages in a separate document if the worst comes to worst. I only need hard copies.

Friday, October 14, 2022

It was a bad day. I had been feeling on the verge of tears for a while. It was irritating and made me jumpy. Today, I was overwhelmed with sadness. I called Jean, my Hanai sister, to unload. She was fantastic. She was comforting and encouraging, all in the proper proportions. Before I spoke to her, I felt I would have to take radical action. Afterward, I felt so much better. I could live with the situation and make small changes.

Today was a day to pick up more Kangen water from Paulette. It is always an opportunity to sit with her, visit, and talk about nothing in particular. It’s so relaxing. It is the one thing I don’t share with anyone else. Just hanging is what I loved doing with Mike. It was delicious. Sometimes we talked, and sometimes we didn’t even do that. It was just wonderful being in the same space.

Our house in Hawaii was wonderful because it’s all on the same floor. Our home in Ohio was spread over three floors; it was a two-story house with a finished basement. Mike and I were often on different floors. It made me sad. I identified this problem one summer vacation when renting a house on one floor. No matter where he was, I felt his presence. I don’t know why someone being on a different floor isn’t as good.

Elsa loves to visit Paulette. When I drive up there, Elsa sits on my lap. As I turn into the driveway, she ducks under my left arm, ready to leap out of the car and run to Paulette’s door. When I open the door, I yell, “Here she comes!” Paulette has a cat and cat toys. She throws a little stuffed mouse to Elsa the whole time we’re there. Today, Paulette worked on a jigsaw puzzle. Her grandnephew, Leon, came up to work on it with her. I choose not to indulge.

When I got home, I prepared a mix of one gallon of 30% vinegar, one gallon of 5% vinegar, and a dash of dish soap and sprayed the rest of the front yard and the back lanai for weeds. The stuff does an amazing job.

When I worked with ninth-grade K today, I gave him a choice of continuing with the grade-level material we had been working with or using something at a lower level but not as low as what I had started with. He said he wanted to continue with the grade-level material. It didn’t sound like an ego-defending position. Today, he did much better with the WbyW exercise, where I asked many questions about a single sentence. He also said he was better able to understand what others said. Wow! He had already experienced an improvement in his auditory processing. Problems can occur at different levels, phonemic, syntactical, and semantic, at the microstructural or macrostructural level.

I watched more of The Good Cop with Tony Danza and Josh Groban. It wears thin quickly. Josh plays a nerdy nerd -that’s nerdier than a regular nerd. I watched a video of him singing in a concert; he looked like a stud. Great acting! My best guess is he comes closer to being the nerd in real life than the stud.

I took on a twenty-foot haole koa tree today. I sprayed a rusted collapsible bow saw with WD40 at regular intervals. This wasn’t as difficult as it sounds. The trunk of this haole koa was no more than six inches in diameter. I planned to try the boiling water trick on this tree. It had worked on smaller ones, three trees between one and two feet tall. In those cases, I didn’t cut the tree back. I poured the boiling water over the whole growth, leaves, stems, and trunk. After three weeks, I saw no new growth. If this works, it would be amazing. These plants are indestructible. My neighbor told me he tried everything, even the most toxic chemical, but never succeeded. He pulled them out by the roots with a truck. They are challenging to pull out once they get over four inches tall. They put down deep roots. I poured an electric teapot of boiling water over the stump daily. I was excited to see what happened.

Thursday, October 13, 2022

It was driveway yoga this morning at 7 a.m. I saw a difference in my asanas because of my stretching exercises before I got up. First, I pulled my thigh toward my chest, but just to the point where it still felt comfortable. It was uncomfortable if I went too far, and my body fought back. Terry, one of my PTs, taught me to hold a posture for ninety seconds to get a release. I held it longer, waiting to feel my body relax. Then I do small shifts in the flesh under my hand, MicroMoves. They must be small to trick the primary stretch response (PSR). If I pull too far, the PSR wants to pull my body back to the default position, the one I was currently maintaining, the one I wanted to change. After I did that on both sides, I pulled a bent knee across the other leg, which was straight. This stretched the glutes, particularly the piriformis. There are recommended positions for that stretch. None of them worked for me because my glutes were too tight. I had to find the correct position for me.

I placed the foot of the bent leg on the outside of the straight leg at the knee. I pulled the knee over with the opposite hand without moving my hips. It wasn't a spinal stretch; it was a glute stretch. Once my body relaxed in that position, I made small shifts, moving the flesh under my hand very slowly. I did a savasana between each posture, letting my body absorb the changes.

At 12:30, I had a luncheon appointment with Zola, who invited Mindy, whom I had just run into on Tuesday, to join us. I left early to go to the post office to mail an educational report back to a client. I arrived at the restaurant on time. There was no Zola or Mindy when I got there. When I checked my text, I saw that she said 12:30.

I had my Kindle with me and wanted to read. I asked if I could sit far from the hostess's desk because they had music blaring. I found a table in the middle of the restaurant that was quiet enough to read. I opened the Kindle and continued reading the play, A Raisin in the Sun, assigned to my ninth-grade student. Good thing I did. I stopped reading it after I saw the movie. They left out an important scene. Mrs. Johnson, the neighbor with whom the family shares a bathroom, came over to wish them 'well' with their move to the white neighborhood. She spoke about a black family whose house had been bombed when they did that. She told them she was expecting to hear their names in the news. Hansberry says two groups of people are holding the blacks back: the cracker whites and people like Mrs. Johnson.

I was still sitting waiting for Zola at twelve-thirty. I got up and went to the front of the restaurant. There she was sitting. Mindy had something else to do. I ordered what I had in the past: aioli-covered avocado fries, ahi, and a lemonade. Nothing tasted as good as it did last time. Some said the problem was with the restaurant. They were inconsistent. Judy said the problem may be with the aging tastebuds. Something else to lose with age.

Zola and I caught up. I enjoy her company. She is a spontaneous person. I loved to hear about her relationship with her husband. It reminded me of my love for Mike. It felt great to hear someone express my thoughts about their husband. I called Zola to let her know how much it meant to me.

I had Mama K's crew today because I wasn't comfortable doing a session with everyone driving in the car yesterday. I continued the WbyW strategies for comprehension with fourth-grade K. The level of improvement in his comprehension is stunning. I used materials at a low fourth-grade level. I made plans to jump to a higher level. I anticipate working with him on a fifth-grade level by the end of the year.

Third-grade Twin E came on next. I was still working with Starfall, training the girls so they could work on their own. I control the button on the app. She told me what to do. I allowed her to pick what she wanted to work on. She chose something at a higher level. When she saw the words, she instructed me to press the ear, which would read the passage to her. I was surprised. Would this work if she didn't even try to read it herself? But then she did try to read it. In the middle of the session, a phone call came through. Twin E ended the session. I knew her mom was no longer home. She had to be at work at four. I heard her say, "Goodbye." I called their older sister. She answered the phone but was in the car with her mom. That was the end of that session.

Wednesday, October 12, 2022

After seeing only Vince for several days, I saw Juli with him on my morning walk today. Vince said she's lazy. Juli said her heart was bothering her. She has some weird heart condition. If it has a name, she hasn't shared it with me. She said this all started when she turned eighty. She's on medication. I wonder if Vince is in denial or if he believes Juli's problem can be fixed by more exercise. Either is possible. But in my experience, Vince is 'always right.' – not his most attractive characteristic. Denial is also a possibility. They've been together for over sixty years.

Mike and I made it to forty-five years. I had been single until I became his partner. He was twenty-one when he got married for the first time. He spent a few years alone. I had been single continuously for thirty-two years. I had prepared myself for life alone, never marrying or losing a partner after years together. My dad died when I was fifteen. I understand the need to be ready for anything. With all l that prep, I am blown away by how huge the adjustment is to losing Mike. I miss his warm, loving presence. We were affection junkies. He created a safe haven for me. I assumed I did for him, too, because when I behaved in ways he found alarming, he would say, "Are you a safe part of my environment?" Yes, he would say those words. Yes, he meant safe. We both were raised in emotionally dangerous environments. We created safe havens for each other. I miss my refuge more than I can say. I look at other couples not with envy but with foreboding. Do they know what they have to face if they lose their partner? I grieve for them already.

Jean, my Hanai sister, reported she got hit by another scam. Someone called her, claiming to be from her online bank. There was a technical problem. Please give them her account numbers so they could correct it. Fortunately, the scammers were stupid as dirt, and the bank was on the alert. They tried to withdraw twenty thousand dollars. That amount alone would have sounded an alarm. Jean's withdrawals are relatively small. In addition, she didn't have twenty thousand in her account. The bank changed all her account information. Jean learned never to give numbers over the phone. These scammers are good. They sound official. I was caught up by one. I'm the one who rescued me from that situation. No one has bothered me since. The institutions rescued Jean. August, our grandson, says there's a list of people who have been successfully scammed, easy targets. Can you imagine?!

When the Zims come for Thanksgiving, they will stay in the room Scott was currently in. I told him he would have to relocate if I had guests when he moved in. Scott said the room acted as a resonance chamber. Yvette's cat, Brooklyn, has dementia. He howls ever so often. The first time I heard it, I thought it was a distressed baby. I tried to locate the sound. Then it stopped. Scott says the sound reverberates in that room. If it's bad for the Zims, I will sleep there and give them my room. There are two other options. They can sleep in the library or on the convertible sofa in the living room. As I type, I realize if they sleep there, I need to give them to use as a chest of drawers and a closet.

I had Adolescent D today. Both he and I appreciate his need to be drilled; I have to do it for him. It's a waste of time, but it's the only way to get it done. I drilled the short and long vowel sounds using a vowel chart. Educational experts say working memory problems in reading are caused by poor phonemic awareness. We have worked on this in our sessions and had him listen to the audio file, exposing him to phonemically transcribed language. This has helped others. It has done something for him, but not as much as I hoped.

I tried to do slowed phonemic production again. I had attempted this earlier. I usually ask students if they find a quick rate of production irritating. That tells me there is an auditory processing problem, and I know how to deal with it. I slow the production of the phonemes until the student is comfortable with it. Knowing D, he probably lied about his feelings when I asked him, deflecting my efforts to help him. His ego has been a major problem. However, it is what we had to deal with. You can't bypass an ego. I have found it frustrating, and I've sometimes expressed my frustration. However, I appreciate what it must be like to read on a first-grade level in the ninth grade when the rest of the class has progressed. It has to be scary.

I asked D if he was still listening to the audiofile with transcribed phonemic analysis. He said yes, occasionally. I decided to try the slowed production. I tried different speeds to see which was the most comfortable for him. When we established that, I started reading off the words one phoneme at a time and waiting for him to tell me what the word was. He struggled in the beginning. Then he gained some speed. I asked him if he was surprised. He said yes. Where he had been annoyed at first, he now saw that it would make a difference. He was surprised at how much clearer the speech was when it was presented that way. D has an auditory processing problem. He can't process speech fast enough to grasp what people say. His processing problem is behind his memory problem and his ability to decode words.

I have used the slowing down process with other students. Usually, I only have to do it for a few words. I can almost immediately start speeding up. I may have to use the slower process with D for a while.

Excited about the possibility of solving D's auditory processing problem, I called his mom to give her the good news. I mentioned that he was willing to work a bit longer, whereas before, he would be anxious to get out of the session. She suggested extending the session. D was fifteen; we'd better ask D what he wanted. He was a fifteen-year-old boy- too old to be told what he had to do and have it go well. He said he didn't want to do it. Now, I have to help him determine if that was because he wanted control over the situation or if he genuinely didn't want to do more practice. It makes a difference. One is more like an oppositional disorder- very self-defeating.

I was supposed to have Mama K's crew today. They didn't sign on at 2:45. I called. They were in the car heading to the beach. Mama K expected me to do the session while they were driving. No. We rescheduled for tomorrow.

My Wednesday and Thursday sessions with ninth-grade K were canceled. He was on a camping trip with his class. I would see him on Friday afternoon.

I sprayed another two gallons of vinegar on the yard. Love this stuff! I use ½ 30% vinegar and ½ 5% vinegar with a dash of soap. I forgot to add the salt; I have a ten-pound bag.

Tuesday, October 11, 2022

I woke up around four and did most of my in-bed exercises before the alarm went off at 5:30. I went into savasana between each exercise to allow my body to process the changes and dozed off. I got up around six thirty and did my morning walk. My ankle bothered me, but it got better when I kept walking.

I meditated for an hour after returning from my walk and fed Elsa. The theme was shame, not about anything in particular, just the generic feeling of shame. Sitting with that was no fun, but it did feel better as it resolved. I am convinced that shame is one of our primary emotions; it's linked with the default mode network. I love it when people call shame an unnecessary emotion we shouldn't have. How's that for promoting shame for having shame?

I had my second appointment with my new chiropractor. My first visit included laser treatment for toe fungus and a postural assessment. I was there for a total of three hours. Yikes! Lisa is leisurely. She loves to chat and do several random things as she goes along. However, she is also good at what she does. Today, I was there for a chiropractic treatment only. I got out after an hour and a half. Lisa must have worked on me for a good hour of that time. When I left, my left ankle felt better. That pain is coming from my back. Interesting.

As I walked out her door, I ran into Mindy and Ed, friends from church I hadn't seen for a while. We're all over eighty and still up and functional. Mindy has several medical issues and is still doing well. Ed took a bad fall a few years ago, and he's up and functional too. A team of troopers.

My friend Carol Zim called. She was finalizing her plan to visit me for Thanksgiving. They want to come on the 20th or the 21st and stay in Hawaii for two weeks. I checked with Damon to make sure they had no plans for visiting me for Thanksgiving. Cylin got back to me promptly, clearing the way for the Zims.

Besides visiting me, they will travel to Kauai for a few days. Did I want to come? First place, I don't particularly appreciate touring, running around seeing things to add them to my list of things I have seen and bits of knowledge I have collected. It doesn't do it for me. Second, I was there on a deacon retreat; we toured all the Catholic churches on the island. Mike and I stayed a few days extra.

I remember one place we visited when we were on our own. Mike spotted a brown rock. Surprised it wasn't black as most lava rock is, he asked the guide where it came from. Without turning around, the guide said, "The volcano." Mike insisted he look. The guide repeated, "I don't have to look. Every rock on this island comes from a volcano. Rocks are different colors because they contain different minerals."

What I remember most about the visit are the gorgeous chickens. Kauai has the largest wild chicken population of all the islands. A powerful hurricane hit Hawaii in 1992, impacting Kauai the most. Among other damage, all the chicken coops were destroyed, releasing them. They not only went forth and multiplied, but they also transformed from domestic chickens to wild ones. The wild ones are spectacular. Their colors are brilliant, often iridescent. The locals hate them. You would, too. Roosters are noisy beasts.

I had an appointment with ninth-grade K. I planned to start WbyW, the questioning procedure. The program asks four types of questions about each sentence: In The Book, Think & Search, The Author & Me, and Beyond the Text. I generate between six and ten questions per sentence. I started at a fourth-grade level, knowing he had problems with comprehension. He handed that material with ease. I switched to a ninth-grade passage I got from adolescent D. He had trouble with this. While cooperative, he didn't understand the benefit of the exercise. I would have to prepare material at a sixth-grade level for our next session.

I found the Good Cop on Netflix. I've seen it before. It's on the silly side. Both main characters are on the jerk continuum.

Monday, October 10, 2022

No one signed up for Saturday or Monday office hours this week. That was odd. When I checked the Step Up Tutoring announcements, I didn't see one with a sign-up for anyone's office hours. What is going on? If they have canceled these hours, it would be nice if they let those of us who volunteered to support know what's going on.

While my ankle still bothered me on my morning walk, I still completed 3,000 steps. It felt better as I walked. I discovered I had the same problem when I read last year's post. That was the first time I had it. I saw a podiatrist. He took X-rays and told me my ankle was not severely arthritic. He had no idea why I had this problem. I thought it might be because of a sprained ankle when my dog knocked me over. It cleared up last year; I would remain optimistic until proven otherwise. I used the acupuncture pen on my left calf, which helped.

I also found notes on my work with second-grade M in my blog entry for last year. She used to have a severe problem with her associative memory, pairing two abstract facts, a letter with the sound it made, and episodic memory, a story. Her mother said that was why she was left back. The problem cleared up after I did a healing protocol on the mom's fear for the girl. It all disappeared. Holy Cow!

Today was Yvette's birthday. I ordered Zabar's bagels for her and for me, six each. A surprisingly large package arrived yesterday. When I opened it, I discovered seventy-two bagels. No wonder they were expensive. I looked at the order form; I ordered six of something. I thought it was just twelve bagels. Instead, I had ordered twelve packages of half a dozen bagels. When I showed Yvette, we had a good laugh. I had room in my freezer for four packages. Yvette took the rest downstairs, including two of mine. We both eat half a bagel at a time. We each have seventy-two servings.

I meditated for an hour. Being alone makes it so much easier for the chatter to take over my mind. This isn't something that only happens to me. It's the default mode network part of the brain. Yes, neuroscientists have a name for it. They can observe it. When someone isn't involved in a mind-commanding task, this part of the brain is let loose and does its own thing. That thing is usually thinking about social relations.

The father of the M & W sisters called to ask me to change second-grade M's appointment. She didn't have school this week. Sixth-grade W started in a private school this year while M remained in the public school, which had off this week. Instead of meeting with the girls one after another, I met with M in the morning and W in the afternoon.

The first thing I did with both girls was show the newsreel of the interview with Damon and Cylin. They found a mountain lion in their driveway when they got home the other evening from seeing a horror movie. They saw it cross the road and enter their driveway. It settled down a few feet from the driver's side door. Damon took pictures of it. This was one famous anima, P22. It lives in Griffith Park. Mountain lions are living further east. P22 had to cross two freeways and survive to get to the park.

The mountain lion had Damon and Cylin trapped in their car. Uncertain about how to deal with the situation, they contemplated going to a hotel. Getting out and petting the animal was not considered. Good thing. The lion rested in their driveway for three or four minutes and walked away.

I played 'games' with both girls. With sixth-grade W had school this week, but academic classes were canceled. It was theme week. She went on a two-hour hike today. Her legs were killing her. We continued with the Gating Game, using the text from a book she is reading for class. It provides an opportunity to consider the information in depth.

With second-grade M, we continued with the questioning exercise after I addressed her before/after problem. The other day, she said the word day came before the word other in the phrase 'the other day.' It took me a while to understand her view. She saw a line of words marching to the right from the left. That would make the word on the right, the first word, coming before the word to its left. I explained the word other comes before the word day because we read or write it first. It sounded like she got it. I had to wonder how many other students had that confusion.

M was upset today. She recently lost her grandfather. Her grief was present. She spoke about not enjoying things a lot. That's a concern. It could be a sign of depression. However, at the end of the class, I asked her how she would rate our sessions on a rate from one to ten. She gave an enthusiastic ten. Wow! I wasn't expecting that.

M's dad recently told me she's a changed child. She is much more confident with schoolwork and in all areas of her life. That's my goal for each child. Both girls report enjoying school. When they come home, they sit down independently and do their homework.

I had Adolescent D in the afternoon. I also shared Damon's video with him. He wasn't that impressed. Oh, well. We have resolved the only way for him to learn is if someone, not him, pushes constant drilling to get the information into his memory. I started with the vowel chart. I had him say the keyword and the accompanying sound. He had to identify if it was long or short. We did the short and long a. Then I covered it up and had him repeat it from memory. When he couldn't, I exposed the frame. Then, we worked on identifying the syllable structure by applying the six syllable patterns: V, VC, VCe, VV, VR, and Final Stable Syllable.

Later in the afternoon, I went to get Kangen water from Paulette. Judy was sitting out on the lanai, massaging a pillow. She had washed their feather pillow. She was working out the clumps of wet feathers. I took over the task because I love doing things like that. I spent a whole weekend untangling a ball of homemade yarn one weekend. I was so happy. Judy put the pillow into the drier to see what it could do. Paulette and I had a delightful time sitting together and talking before I had to leave.

Sunday, October 9, 2022

I slept well, got up late, and had to hurry because I needed to leave at eight-thirty for nine am. Mass. I ran into Nina and Dean as Elsa and I did our morning walk. When a car came down the street, Dean, Elsa, and I pulled over onto the grassy strip to be off the road. Standing there, I felt like I had small pebbles in my slippers, flip-flops to folks from the East Coast. I discovered I was standing on an ant hill. Those weren't pebbles I was feeling. I was bitten. Dean said, "Your feet are going to swell up." Thanks for letting me know. Nothing like that happened. The bites didn't even itch.

The moment I got home, I started my morning routine. I applied my pre-shower Vit. C facial. I bought Vit. C crystals in bulk, not knowing they sold crystals specifically for facials. Mine were too granular. I felt like I was applying sand to my face. Carolyn, a friend who recommended this treatment, said she added water and made a smooth paste from her crystals. I took the crystals I had and ground them in my coffee grinder. Perfect! I got the consistency I needed. Carolyn does this facial every morning and every night. That's too much for my skin.

While the Vit C paste dried on my face, I prepared Elsa's breakfast, brushed my teeth, showered, and started working on the public blog post before I left for church.

Maya was already seated on the church lanai when I arrived. I saw her at mass a few weeks ago. She left right before communion. Huh? Why did she leave then? I was looking forward to speaking to her after mass. Again, she left early. She texted me that she had to go because of another appointment. She would make sure she had nothing to do after mass next week so we could spend time again.

Yesterday, Yvette told me Colleen invited her to the opening of the new parish house, and Yvette was to invite me too. Dinner would be served. None of that made any sense. How could Colleen know about the opening when there was nothing in the church bulletin? I couldn't imagine that an event like that would be by invitation. It would be open to all parishioners. I asked Meali'inani and Shirley if they knew about it. They are two church bigwigs. They knew nothing. The mystery deepened

I ran into Fr. Lio. I asked him. He said, "Oh, we are doing the opening on the celebration of our Lady of Guadalupe. The bishop is coming, and he will bless the building." The opening of the church parish house has been repeatedly delayed. Fr. Lio has had it with this project. This poor man has overseen the church's construction and now the parish house. We can all appreciate his frustration and need to be done with it.

I had a powerful reaction to the gospel reading on the healing of the ten lepers and Sandor's homily. I could feel my flesh crawl, identifying with the men. It was a most uncomfortable feeling.

I finally got around to spraying the yard with the new vinegar solution, half 30% acid, half 5% acid, and some dish detergent. The 5% is food grade. The 30% can burn your insides. We'll see how well it works.

The M & W sisters' father called. He asked me if I had received the reports on their educational testing. I had, and I'd read them. I wanted to see it because W was evaluated at a very low performance level in something. I wanted to know what it was. It was in Verbal expression, both oral and written. Written, I could see. Many kids limit what they write because they have trouble spelling. However, I couldn't see her oral verbal skills, which were excellent. How could she possibly have tested at a 2nd-grade level, three years below her grade?

I met with second-grade M first. She still hadn't mastered the idea that the questions in the WbyW In The Book exercise were about one sentence. Other than that, her comprehension was good. She did shock me when reading several words in the sentence incorrectly. She read family for father. Huh? Time to go back and make sure her reading is accurate.

At one point, I asked her to read the word before "them" in the phrase "bringing them worms." She said worms. I repeated, "No, the word before them." She repeated worms. Oh, boy. She has a huge problem with before and after. I drew a picture of three people facing left in a line: Alice, Beth, and Carol. They were all facing left. Who was before Beth? She got both the before and after answers right. I went back to the three words. She gave me the same answer. I got it.

The words move from left to right. Therefore, the word on the right is the first word in the line and comes 'before' the word to its left. In all my years of teaching, I never saw this. I wondered how many kids I thought had a problem with before and after only had a problem with the contradiction between the two conventions. I had to figure out how to make it clear when reading the word on the left comes before the word on the right. In my next session, I will show her that while the words move from left to right, we read the word on the left before we read the word on the right. I can show it to her by writing one word at a time.

On my before-dinner walk, I ran into Brian, Lutz's son. We walked together as Lutz and I did before he left for his trip to Thailand. Brian is a generous conversationalist as Lutz is. I told him about my fall down the stairs in Hunter Hall when I was thirty-five. For the first time, it occurred to me that I could have thrown myself backward on the stairs above me. Why didn't I think to do that? That option had passed by the time I stopped trying to get my toe free from the other pant leg. I was already tilted too far forward.

Judy called on her way home from her Youth Ministry class. Children fight to read and participate, even the ones who don't read well. I told her about the before/after problem. She had never seen that conflict before, either.

I took the Zabar's shipping box in before Yvette came home and saw it. I bought bagels for her birthday. The package was very large for the twelve bagels I ordered. I figured it was a lot of packing material to keep them fresh. I finally opened it last night. There was no packing material; it was all bagels, seventy-two of them. Holy cow! I thought I ordered half a dozen plain and half a dozen multigrain. I ordered six of six and six of six. Yep, that's seventy-two.

October 8, 2022

I slept well last night despite napping for four hours during the day. Boy, whatever may be wrong with me, my sleep is in A1 condition.

No one signed up for my Saturday Reading and Writing office hours for Step Up Tutoring. I was in no hurry to get up and do my walk before seven a.m.

I didn’t do much all day. I’m the poster child for the retirement joke. “How many retired people does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but it takes all day.” There’s also the adage, “If you want to get someone to do something, ask a busy person.” It is easier to get many things done than just a few. Besides feeling languid, a positive word for the state, I put off things because I can do them tomorrow.

I did get my 10,000 steps in. On one of my short walks, Judy passed returning from picking up a car from the airport and stopped to talk. She described the problems getting across Queen K to the airport during the Ironman race. The police had blocked off. People were going in both directions in two lanes on either side of the median strip. The police set up blockades. They had to wait for a break in the flow and then let one car race through at a time. It took them an hour to move one block on the way home on one occasion.

When Judy asked how I was, I told her I was feeling weird, anxious, and internally shaky but getting good sleep. I had no idea why I was feeling the way I was. It was maddening. When I got home, I took a CDB pill. Its impact was immediate. Fantastic!

Friday, October 7, 2022

I slept very well. I did my morning exercises in bed. I felt pain in my left calf and ankle, triggered by putting the soles of my feet together and letting my knees fall out. Huh? What is this related to? I kept close to home on my morning walk in case my ankle gave out. It did better than yesterday. I treated my ankle to an infrared lamp treatment yesterday. I would have to do more of that.

I was feeling anxious and jumpy.

Judy called at a convenient time; yay! She often called when I was in a tutoring session. She and Paulette were going nuts with all the cars they had to drive. The job is stressful. The original idea was that they would leave the car in the parking lot, inform the customer where it was, and go home. Since tourism picked up again as the threat of Covid decreased, we have more tourists. Therefore, the parking lot is full. They have to drive around searching for a space.

Many bodyworkers can make money during Ironman. The participants live in constant pain. I asked Yvette if she was busy. She said, "They're not my people." She complained about them as most locals do. They're rude, entitled, and cheap. I hear that a lot. They create situations where people lose money rather than bring money to the island. The roads are closed, so people can't even access shops in town. Whole shopping centers close down on the day of the race.

I told Judy what Yvette said. She said her son said the same thing. He ran into them when he drove for Uber a few years ago before Covid. Judy speculates that people who achieve that level of excellence at anything are bound to be difficult. Along with ruining their bodies, they ruin their souls. While achieving this level requires an iron will, I'm not convinced it isn't a form of mental illness. We speculated if painting all the athletes with a single brush was possible.

I meditated to calm my inner disturbance. I was jumpier than I'd been in a long time. I jumped when Scott said good morning when I wasn't expecting it. What is going on? I'm familiar with this state of mind. It is how I lived my childhood around my mother, in a constant state of alertness for the next attack. It was horrible. The old trauma was resurfacing. Is it because Mike, my protector, is gone, or is it coming to the surface for healing? Hope it's the latter.

2nd grade L.'s mother told me to contact her father and force him to schedule a session with me on his time. Whether this was a substitute for our current Friday session or an addition was unclear. It may be unclear to him, too. I'm not looking forward to dealing with him. I'll be in the middle of these two and their difficulties. I pity the child. I find Mom a tough cookie. From her description of the dad, he's on a par with her, if not worse.

I was going to continue with the Starfall reading program. L got on right into our Zoom session right after she had finished her school session with her mom. She looked grim. I wanted to do something easier. We wound up working on something quite tough. But she found it pleasurable.

L has terrible memory problems, as so many of my students have. In the past, I only encountered one student that I clearly identified with a specific memory problem. He couldn't remember a word from one line to the next. L isn't quite that bad, but it's close.

I asked her to remember something her mom said earlier in the day. She could repeat something we both heard her say as she set L up to work with me. When I asked her where she heard it in her brain, she pointed to the right spot for auditory processing. Then she repeated something I said. Again, her repetition was word perfect. I only realized a few minutes ago that when she repeats sentences, she can use the rhythm of language to help her recall. She does that brilliantly. I have to see if she can remember a random list of words read as a list, devoid of sentence intonation.

We worked on storing and retrieving a few words. I wrote see, look and you. L could do that with some consistency even with distractors until the end of the session. I wrote look, and she said you. Oh, well.

I asked her what the back section of her mind felt like, where information is stored. She said it was blank. I asked her to give it a color. She chose green. A pretty green or ugly one? Green is one of her favorite colors, she said. She named other colors at other times. This green was not her favorite because it was too dark. I showed her the palette and asked her which green to use. I colored that section of the brain in on my rather crude sketch of the brain. She said the green area was impenetrable. I asked her to create a fictional character that could get in. She named her character Galoksa and paired her with a color. She could tell a story in which Galoksa got in but still couldn't retrieve information. I told her to "listen as if I'm whispering the answer in your ear." Nothing worked. How do children that young have problems with long-term memory retrieval?

I watched the end of Family Secrets. Yuck! Not a satisfying ending. It left you wondering what the hell happened. That's all, folks!

Thursday, October 6, 2022

I slept exceptionally well. I went to bed early because we had 7 a.m. yoga. I slept through till the alarm went off. My ankle was still bothering me, so I limited my walk.

Today's yoga was dedicated to the celebration of Jared's birthday. Jared was just forty and was found dead by his husband one morning. No one knows what he died of. Suicide is one thought; another is an accidental overdose. We will never know. His family doesn't want the results of his autopsy to be public. Unfortunately, Jared was a very public figure who knew many people. There is speculation, some of it pretty ugly. They would be better off putting the truth out there. If people don't get explanations from a reliable source, they make up one on their own.

Scott had told me Yvette had planned vodka jell shots for everyone and some marijuana cigarettes. When I came out to the driveway, there were paper-mâché strips across the driveway with attached balloons.

I was surprised when Yvette didn't follow the usual sequence of asanas. I was even more surprised when she ended the class early. Scott hadn't warned me about this. I didn't partake in the jell shots. I ate one of the from-scratch cupcakes Elise had made. It was delicious. Scott took videos and photos with my phone, and I took more later. After class, I needed a three-hour nap, partially due to the high sugar load.

At noon, I had an acupuncture session. We had a maddening discussion on a topic she introduced. It took the full hour for me to understand her point. She said the following: Language interferes with the flow state. The flow state is the ideal state. We should always function in that state. Some languages interfere with it more than others. We don't use language when we are in flow; we use pictures. She believes thinking outside the box is better than thinking inside the box. She also thinks a single solution will get people to think outside the box. None of which I agree with six ways from Sunday. While the flow state feels great, if we are going to learn something new, we have to abandon it for a time. While language interferes with the flow state, anyone up for a world without a spoken language. Sorry, we're humans. We have to work with what we have.

I asked adolescent D if he would do an additional session yesterday. He texted me to schedule another one for today. I started working with WbyW on the material assigned by his school. First, he read the passage. He did an excellent job. His reading flowed flawlessly until he hit a word he couldn't recognize. He couldn't decode it for love nor money. I have gone over and over this process with him. Whenever he hits a word he doesn't know, he is brought to his knees. He is stuck and has no way to get himself unstuck. For him, it's automatic, or it just doesn't happen.

Since I wanted to use the material to improve his language comprehension skills, I didn't push the decoding. I used the material one of his teachers assigned and applied the WbyW approach, asking detailed questions about each sentence. He did reasonably well, except he couldn't confine his answers to the information in the sentence, an understandable problem since it is not what students are normally asked to do.

I lay down for a nap after that session. Jean, my friend from Arizona, called as I was waking Perfect timing. I went out for a walk while we compared notes about our lives.

I had my final session with ninth-grade K at 4:30 p.m. I used the same material and comprehension activity with him that I had used with adolescent D. They were in the same grade. Oh, boy. It was much more difficult than I thought it would be. I had done some of it with adolescent D. He did very well, considering it was our first session, and I was asking him to do something he had never done before. I ask students to answer many questions about the same sentence. There are four categories of questions: In the Book, Think & Search, The Author & Me, and Beyond the text. Some other teachers created these categories, and I use them differently. They used these questions to discuss whole passages or texts. I use them to understand how language works. I use them instead of the old sentence diagramming trees from my youth. K found this task overwhelming. Now, D had read the whole passage and had more of a sense of what it was about. I will have to start on a lower level with ninth-grade K.

I had a session with Jana, a tutor from Step Up Tutoring, who asked if I would teach her my method. I told her how I was using Starfall, a free teaching site, with some of the kids. She saw how she could use this with some of her kids.

I continued to watch the Netflix TV series Family Secrets. It's both engaging and annoying. It centers on a wedding day with lots of back flashes. It reminds me of a Robbe-Grillet book I had to read twenty years ago. It has you jumping back and forth between scenes, and you have to sort it out. The series is a comedy, but with many vile people who are not so funny.

Wednesday, October 5, 2022

I woke up this morning thinking of a school principal I worked with in Ohio who taught me about myself and how I fit into the educational setting. He said most people like me left the classroom and went into college teaching. I was a rarity. I wanted to develop solutions to solve problems. He associated it with research. I wanted to help people directly develop solutions to real problems, not just test methods in a research setting. This morning, my thoughts weren’t of our time working together. No, it was about a tragedy in his life. While driving home on February night, his car skidded on black ice. He was severely injured, almost losing an arm. But worse yet, his twelve-year-old son was killed. How do you live with that?

On a much lighter note, my haole koa has still not put out new shoots. The tree is an invasive species brought to the island for a ‘good’ purpose. It was supposed to be food for a domestic animal. If I remember the story, the animal had zero interest in it as a food source. The tree was interested in spreading its seed all over the land. It has. Once the tree is a foot high, it has already put out a deep root that is difficult to pull out. The tree is resistant to even the most toxic weedkiller. The ones I was dealing with were already two feet high, too tall to be pulled out even by a strong man. If my boiling water works on them, I will try to kill a larger one. Plan: cut the tree down to a stump. Pour a tea kettle of boiling water over it daily. It can be pretty challenging, a fun game.

Today was a busy day for tutoring. At 2 p.m., I had a session with adolescent D. I asked him if he remembered any words in the sentence we had worked on. He said, “The policeman and the fire inspector arrived at the scene.” The original sentence was, “The policeman and the fire inspector visited the site.” Close but no cigar, not when the goal is accurate recall. Accurate recall is necessary if we will understand what the author said.

I proposed doing some classwork. D said he had nothing he wanted to work on. I asked if it felt painful to do the work. He said yes. I could easily believe he was overwhelmed with the feeling as he did schoolwork. He experienced more failure than success. I did EFT tapping on that pain. I used this setup phrase: “Even though I feel pain when I do schoolwork, I love and comfort myself.” I did not tell him the pain was probably shame. As I proceeded, I wanted to switch the phrase to say, “I forgive myself.” He didn’t want me to. He didn’t want to give up attacking himself. Punishing someone or ourselves to motivate change sometimes works, and sometimes, it has the exact opposite effect; it’s the very thing that prevents us from doing the work. We have to know when to give it up and then how to give it up. It’s not easy. D said he experienced relaxation as I tapped repeatedly. He was surprised at how much better he felt.

Immediately after my session with Adolescent D, I worked with Mama K’s crew. Fourth grade K is moving ahead at an impressive pace. I would have to up the level of his work from low third grade to low fourth grade.

I continued working with Starfall with the twins. Twin E did so much better with the material, I was uncertain if I had her name right. Twin A did alright, too.

Finally, I had adolescent K at the end of the afternoon. On Wednesdays, he sees me during a break between two jujitsu classes. We continued with the comprehension on Beyond the Bright Sea. I never told him the name of the book, and today, he asked me if it was Beyond the Bright Sea. His younger brother had to read it over the summer. His level of participation is generally better. I would love more feedback from his teacher.

Tuesday, October 4, 2022

I had been feeling strange. I didn't recognize myself. I felt weird. Was I depressed or just so relaxed? While I felt the anxiety I lived with years ago, others didn't see that in me. In the past, whenever I felt that way, it was written all over me. I was living the way Mike lived, with his anxiety bottled up. Am I becoming an introvert in my old age?

It is still true that having nothing to do all day is exhausting. I am energized by joyful contact with people. I understand the difference between an introvert and an extrovert. The introvert is energized by alone time, and the extrovert by interpersonal interaction. Is all the alone time wearing on me? I find people interesting. Endlessly so. There is always something new to learn from another person.

The lack of response to the reading instruction videos on YouTube was getting to me. I think of teachers I used to work with whom I could contact. I dreaded a negative response. I watched people advertise over and over. I knew that's what I had to do if I wanted attention. I didn't do it.

I did something that triggered the pain in my left ankle this morning. It was very bad about a year ago. The podiatrist said while I didn't have the ankle of a twenty-year-old, I also didn't have a severe case of arthritis. He didn't know why I was in pain. The muscles in my calf seized up before the pain started in the ankle. I hope I can resolve this.

As I returned from my morning walk, Yvette was on her knees in the driveway, washing one of her dogs with Scott's help. I needed my toenails clipped in preparation for my second round of laser treatments on my toenails to treat a nail fungus. Yvette cut them in her break before washing the second dog, Liner Notes.

My chiropractic appointment today was to get my second round of laser treatment for nail fungus. Lisa doesn't get down to business. She combed her hair, searched for a recently bought set of needles to give Flo, her dog, an insulin shot, and talked continuously about miscellaneous topics. Not a strict professional demeanor.

For the first treatment, I thought I had only one problem nail. Lisa pointed out that the fungus had spread to several of my toenails. Now, all my nails looked good except for the one I had sought treatment for initially. While I was there, I asked about her chiropractic service. My PCP had prescribed chiropractor service; insurance covered it. My left ankle was giving me problems. She argued that the problem with my ankle was caused by something in my back. It took forever for her to find my prescription, give me a form to fill out, care for the dog, etc., and talk continuously about one thing or another.

She started evaluating my alignment. However much improvement I have made, I continued to be seriously out of alignment with curvatures here and there. Her chiropractic method was different from anything I had seen. I'd been on an adjustable table, but nothing compared to hers. It was electrically driven. Besides the basic chiropractic treatment using the drop table, this table converted into a stretching machine. She bound my ankles, told me to grab hold of the top of the table, moved the two sections apart, and did bodywork with her hands. It felt good. We'll see if anything she does will make a difference. As with most things I try, the question is, "Will it do harm?" If so, then I won't do it. I didn't agree to have my neck cracked. There is some question if it is good for anyone. At my age, it is a no-no.

I only had to pay a minimal amount for the chiropractic treatment because insurance covered the service. Lisa charged my card for the service and returned my card. "Wait! You didn't charge me for the laser treatment," which Kaiser did not cover. I left after three hours.

I had a session with ninth-grade K this afternoon. I didn't work with him on Raisin in the Sun. I picked a sixth-grade novel I read for another student. I chose the book because the action takes place in a natural setting. K is big into hunting and fishing. It would have more meaning for him, and he would have an easier time generating images. I started with the first page. It wound up being more abstract than I had thought. I hadn't checked the passage properly. It was a struggle, but he did reasonably well. Better than he had done in the past. He also reported that he did better in class; he understood more of what the teacher said.

Monday, October 3, 2022

I went to bed very, very late last night, after midnight. After being tired most of the day, I was full of energy at night. I was energized by the delightful conversation with Scott and Yvette. We laughed together.

I still woke up early, as usual. I have a new objective. I thrust my left hip further out to the side. It strains the inner thigh muscles of both my legs, not just the left one.

I got a call from a friend whose husband had been diagnosed with short-term memory problems. Sadly, it may be worse. He had gone out on a short shopping trip and not returned in a timely way. My friend and his children got him an Apple watch and phone to locate him if he got lost. He had neither electronic device with him. My friend was quite worried. Her husband planned to visit a supermarket nearby to get a few things. Two hours was an unnecessarily long time for a short shopping trip. He might have decided to do something else, but she couldn’t count on that. She would give it fifteen more minutes before she called the security personnel in their retirement compound.

I called her son because I wanted him to support her. He didn’t answer. I sent a long text message. He called fifteen minutes later to say his stepfather had just returned home. Upon reading my text, he immediately called his mom. How sweet that he immediately called me to reassure me that all was well.

The situation was the best of all options. Her husband had gone to a different grocery store than he planned to. He did some additional shopping on the way home. He was tired quickly and parked to take a short nap rather than drive in that condition. Fortunately, he was remorseful for what he put my friend through.

The haole koa I cut down and poured boiling water on is still leaf-free. There is no new growth- yet. How long do I have to give it before I declare the tree officially dead and claim to have found a way to kill the insidious indestructible tree bent on taking over the island?

I met with adolescent D. I asked him if he had worked on focusing on the left side of his brain when hearing people speak or read. No, he had not. I assured him that was common; people need help making a fundamental change. Lord knows I do, and I am open to suggestions. I often run with them- or I forget them for a year and then pick them up, or I forget them forever.

D said he had no schoolwork to complete today. I think he was lying, but I went with it. I used the opportunity to do the auditory processing exercise I had planned for our last class. I first asked him if he could hear my voice in his head. He said no. He couldn’t hear anyone’s voice in his head. Since he could imagine a conversation between Obama and Batman and him and his mother, he could do it. He didn’t understand what he was doing. I had to figure out how to get that skill to transfer laterally.

I read him a short sentence from the Westing Game. “The policeman and the fire inspector visited the site.” He was able to give me the information but not the exact words. What’s the difference? He said, “Tomato, tomato.”

If you always convert what you hear and read to your own words, you never know exactly what the author said. D’s ability to convert words into meaning is good. But if words don’t immediately convert, he’s stuck. He can’t go back and mull them over. It’s all gibberish to him. As he says, “The teachers talk too much.” When they do, D turns off. He mentally leaves and hears no more. He relies on some unconscious processing in hopes that he understands some of it. Our unconscious minds can only understand something they have some background in. If the information is foreign, we need the conscious mind to step in and help us process the new information. The unconscious mind is good at bringing up every grain of information stored that might relate to the new information, but it can only take in the information it is familiar with. When people protest change, they often protest the demands on their conscious minds. Being in situations where our unconscious minds can do all the work is called being in the flow. What a great feeling!

Besides being easy, we know we’re home, safe and sound among the familiar. Introducing something new requires a period of disorientation, where we are in a state of not knowing. If that disorientation is perceived as anticipation or excitement, someone’s up for learning something new. The person blocks the new information to regain balance if it triggers uncomfortable confusion.

Sunday, October 2, 2022

I made it to the 9 a.m. mass as I have been doing regularly. I still sat on the outdoor lanai. It’s not only to avoid Covid or flu contamination. I like being outdoors in the fresh air rather than in the air-conditioned church. I wouldn’t like it under any circumstances. I particularly like it because it’s not as cold as it is inside the church.

After church, I greeted Fr. Lio and Sandor, as always. Sandor was in the last deacon training class Mike worked with. He and Sandor were close. Sandor and his wife are my optometrists. I told Sandor how my eyes were failing. He realigned my glasses, commenting he only had his fingers to do the work. He should bring a pair of plyers to church and readjust everyone’s glasses after mass. It helped somewhat.

On the way home, I stopped at Island Naturals to pick up a gallon of Dr. Bronner’s Rose shampoo. I ordered it ahead. Here in Hawaii, you get while the getting’s good. You never know when it will be available again. They called yesterday to say a gallon had just come in. They would hold it for me.

I’ve been using the shampoo for about thirty years since I discovered what it did for my hair at a meditation retreat. When I was in my fifties, my hair became dry and brittle. I tried other shampoos, conditioners, and oil treatments. Nothing worked. One day on the retreat, I arrived at the bathroom to shower and discovered I had forgotten my shampoo. The retreat provided soap dispensers with Dr. Bronner lavender soap for hand washing. Having nothing else, I used that to wash my hair. The difference was immediate. My hair became soft and fluffy again. I’ve used it ever since. I’ve recommended it to others. It didn’t work as well with their hair. Their hair was coarser than mine. The shampoo made their hair heavy and dull.

When I got home, I napped after reading some more of Beyond the Bright Sea. The book was in a slow section for me.

I had a long nap. Something is wrong with me; my head feels dense.

I had a 2 p.m. session with the M & W sisters. M requested continuing work on the ‘question game.’ I love that she considers this work, which can be challenging, a fun game.

It was clear W was doing well in school. I asked her if she had participated in class. I can believe she does. She is a bright, confident, outspoken girl. Last time, I asked her what she wanted to work on. She requested the Gating Game. I used the text from The Westing Game, the book she was reading for her English class. She did well.

After the session, I spoke to their dad. We agreed the girls were doing well. They were enjoying school. Both girls come home from school and sit down to do their work. He’s amazed. He hated school. I had been concerned that I wouldn’t be able to overcome the impact of his anxiety about the girls. Their mom told me he felt that all their problems came from him. He was right, but not in the way he thought. He thought they had their learning disabilities from him. What they had was fear of making a mistake. That pretty much eliminates learning.

Saturday, October 1, 2022

I slept well, as I usually do. Elsa and I got up and did a 3,000-step morning walk. On Punawele, we ran into the resident ducks and Dave with his wife and their good dogs, Charlotte and Lulu., on Punawele. The dogs walked past Elsa without breaking stride. Elsa barks at them like a crazy lady. Until I learned their names, Dave’s dogs were Good Dogs, and Elsa was Bad Dog.

No one signed up for my Saturday office hour. I always have mixed feelings: sad because I need the stimulation and happy to have free time. I don’t really need extra free time. I have plenty.

I was moved to check the Facebook page of an old school principal of mine in New Brunswick. N.J. There was quite a to-do during his tenure. He got one of the teachers pregnant. She had broken up with her girlfriend about six months earlier. He married this woman, and they had two more kids. The man’s first marriage was a disaster. He said he was warned not to marry that woman. His current marriage to this schoolteacher appears to be a rip-roaring success. I remember the woman as being very loving. There was a picture on their Facebook page of a bunch of kids, some visitors, with the mom curled up on the couch with one of her kids. That’s always a trigger for me. My mom was against cuddling. My dad caught a picture of her with my sister on her lap, enjoying the contact. I don’t think I ever saw her that way, even with my sister. I had that with Mike. Boy, do I miss it.

I showed Yvette how my wandering second toe on my right foot was doing much better. The chiropractor had recommended I put a toe separator between my toes while I slept to force the toe back into place. I tried that. It didn’t work. My wandering toe moved the toe separator and had her way with my big toe. At one point, the bottom of the toe was at close to a 45% angle, and the top segment of the toe was bent over even further. The first knuckle was swollen and inflamed. It had been chafing against the inside of the Croc.

The podiatrist suggested I should wear Oofos. I had two pairs. They became my shoe of choice to eliminate the chaffing. Yvette remembered that I had a set of yoga toes among the yoga stuff. She dug it out and placed it on my bedside table. I started putting them on every night before I went to sleep. I removed them at some point during the night when I woke up because they were irritating me. The toe looks remarkably better. It is often straight and next to the first toe, where it belongs, instead of on top of it. Very interesting.

Having decided I might feel lousy because of excessive chocolate consumption, I vowed to lay off. I did an entire day without Hersey milk chocolate anything with whole almonds. It felt fine. I didn’t mind a bit. But once I have one, I finish off several ounces without batting an eye.

Yvette came up to do her laundry. It was a way for her to spend time in my company without having any conversation. I stay in my old-lady chair while she works across the room. It was a relaxed, incidental conversation. When she finished, she sat down for a minute, and Scott joined. We laughed together. Delightful.

I had given Extraordinary Attorney Woo a break while I watched something else. Whatever I watched couldn’t have been particularly memorable, or is it just my memory doesn’t remember. The characters in Woo were getting more complex, as were the relationships between them. A bad guy turns out good, and a good guy turns out to be not so good.