Friday, April 9, 2021

 Friday, April 9, 2021

Last night was my third time using magnesium oil on my legs before going to bed. No, I did not sleep through to 3:30 am. I was up and peeing regularly by 12:30. 

I thought my session with Shelly was at 8 am. I had Judy scheduled for 9:45. She wants to go over the video presentation for the Phonics Discovery System. She said she had several hours of questions. When I discovered that the appointment was actually for 9, I called her. She wanted to put it off. I said forty minutes was better than nothing, and I was dying to hear her questions. I told her I would be finished at 10. She should come over a few minutes early to pick up some items for a charity donation. I set them in the driveway for easy access. 

After Judy loaded her car, she moved to come into the house. I asked her to wait a few minutes until I finished my session. While there was nothing I was discussing with Shelly that I wouldn't have mentioned with Judy, it feels very different if I have a deep conversation with one person versus another. 

In my session with Shelly, I talked about the latest debacle in relationships, how I resolved to limit or eliminate my relationships with people who don't enjoy me, no less are downright uncomfortable with aspects of my personality. I'm always the one who wants to work things out. I believe things are always resolvable. I give up. I'm not angry with these people, just disappointed and sad. 

When dealing with these people, I tend to get somewhat hysterical. I experience them like blocks of wood; they're immovable. They usually maintain their composure while my volume goes up, and I get sarcastic. My words may not be brutal, but my tone is. I lose it. It doesn't serve me in any way. It's humiliating that I don't have the self-control I need, and it certainly doesn't promote reconciliation with others.

Shelly asked me if I did that with Mike. The answer was no. I trusted him to be interested in my point of view. I don't get that way when I think someone really wants to hear what I have to say and how I feel. Some people I have trouble with really have no interest in my point of view. Others really can't abandon theirs; it's too uncomfortable- for whatever reason. Sad, but I have no solution. I have to work on my own failings. 

I have some strange idea these people will be more interested in me when I reject them. That's not going to work. I would try to find some common ground where we can mutually enjoy each other. If we couldn't find that, I would bow out.  

I spent about an hour revising the parts of the PowerPoint that Judy and I went over this morning. I wrote some notes, but I knew I would forget the meat of her observations if I waited too long. Sometimes Judy apologizes for her criticisms, but I am doing very well. I have no idea where this maturity and sanity are coming from, but I welcome her insights. I'm downright excited by her observations and insights. Thank you, God.

I was supposed to have an appointment with my fourth grade D.  I sent the Zoom link. When I didn't get a response by three minutes into the meeting, I called his mom. "Oh, I thought I told you, he's back in school. He can't meet with you anymore on Fridays." I went through my texts and emails, nope. There I go again; was I wrong? 

I had an appointment with I. at 4 pm. I switched to using the Barnell Loft Drawing Conclusions D with her. I now have three students in this material with three different sets of objectives. The exercise involves reading a six to seven-sentence paragraph about some nonfiction issue with expository writing. The exercise requires the student to make an inference. The answer has been obliquely referred to; the student has to infer the answer. They have to select their answer and support their choice by finding the words in the paragraph that support their answer. Interesting! I. was answering the questions based on what she thought would be right instead of what the author said. I gave her my comprehension exercise. I say, "I am a 12- year-old boy with bright red hair," and then I ask, "What did I say?" While it is undoubtedly important to evaluate the validity of what an author has to say, it is equally important to recognize what they said in the first place before they can evaluate it. That's the basis for all conversations, reconciliations, and peaceful solutions between people. It is a vital skill.