Tuesday, April 27, 2021

 Tuesday, April 27, 2021

 

I took the magnesium drink as directed before going to bed, except I used ½ a teaspoon rather than a whole one. I put the powder into three ounces of water, waited until it had stopped fizzing, and added an additional three ounces of water. As a result, I had to pee over and over during the night. I can't drink that much right before going to bed.   It certainly didn't help me sleep better. I'll have to check if I can use less water.

   I gave Judy a bottle of magnesium oil, hoping it would help her sleep better. She, her sister Paulette, and her husband, Howard, have trouble sleeping. So many people my age do. I consider myself very lucky to be a good sleeper. Judy and Paulette tried rubbing the oil on their legs before bedtime. Judy reported they had a worse night's sleep than usual. Oh, boy.

In our yoga class today, Joe announced that he was throwing himself an 81st birthday party on May 8. Can you imagine? Yvette's class only has three to eight people, and two of them are over 80, Joe and me. 

   Later in the day, I got a call from Mindy inviting me to lunch next Tuesday. Two invitations in one day. The world is opening up again.

     I had a haircut scheduled. As usual, someone told me how great my hair looked. I get more compliments on the days before my scheduled haircut. I told Randee about the possibility of getting plastic surgery on my brow. Randee has an exceptionally high forehead, whereas I have an exceptionally low one. She suggested that I pass on the brow surgery and get Botox injections into my forehead instead. It only has to be done twice a year. Sounds good to me; well, at least worth a try.

            I had been exhausted when I arrived for my appointment -and hungry. I stopped at the deli next door to pick up some Scandinavian potato salad. Hmmm! A lot like German potato salad. Bermuda onions and celery. I don't get to eat those foods often. So good!

    I finally watched the Zoom recording I made the other day. It took courage to watch it. Again, I was missing whole sections. I was going to have to re-record it. It's all good practice.

   Judy, my personal Meals on Wheels, stopped by with Pad Thai noodles with a small piece of fried chicken, some of her roasted beef with carrots and tomatoes and mash potatoes, and finally a hunk of the Jewish cornbread she made. This was her second attempt. She can't get that great crust. Her criticism of this attempt was that she hadn't used enough rye flour. Apparently, you have to mix the rye flour with regular flour. The rye flour alone is too rough to make a good bread dough. While the bread was good, it wasn't comparable to the cornbread my mother bought at Hanscom's every week. OMG, that bread was so good. Dorothy and I talked about it. We both have vivid memories of that bread. We never got tired of it.

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Musings:

            The key to excellent living from the Yoga Farm Ithaca group was Relax. As Daniela described it, it resembled the old, "Let go, let God." Using the word relax gave it a different meaning. She's right; I get tense when I feel I must have something go my way. My gut tightens up; I'm definitely not relaxed.

            There are contexts when I can let what will happen. That's why I love the healing work and the teaching. That's the mental state I enter. I have a program to follow, but it is only a procedure. It doesn't determine where we're going and when. Sometimes I do feel that way. I get frustrated when a student doesn't remember something I have taught over and over and over. In this context, I know clearly, that it is my problem.  

            However, when it comes to my private life, I'm not as good at relaxing and being curious about where it will go. I know when I feel that way, I'm scared. I know the difference between people who have to have their way because not getting it feels life-threatening and those who have to have their way because they like power. My mother suffered from PSTD and saw most things in life as life-threatening; that included any contradictions. 

            I used my own healing methods to convince my unconscious mind that I was not in danger. I may not get the recognition or the appreciation I would like, but that's a far cry from being in life-threatening danger.

            An old friend wrote about how her discussions with her husband start with screaming. I suspect that fear is in the room whenever there's screaming or total silence.

            Thinking about how I would deal with a dire life circumstance if the worst-case scenario occurred, I remembered a comment an 18-year-old made when I was thirty. She said if something bad happens, "You'll deal with it."  Ain't that the truth. it."