Friday, November 4, 2022

 Friday, November 4, 2022

 

 I was exhausted by 9 a.m. after posting my public blog, after completing the NY Times Wordle, the Mini puzzle, and continuing working on one of the regular crossword puzzles. I couldn't finish it. I needed a nap. I slept for two hours. This is after going to bed at ten and getting a wonderful night's sleep. I wondered why I was so tired.

   I had nightmares about the state of the world again this morning as I dozed. I know I'm scared to death about our election next week. I doubt there can be a good result. News about the ever-increasing rise of white supremacists is scary. I thought this morning of telling all family members they could find refuge here in Hawaii. Everyone would make a full house, but it would be better than being killed or sent to a concentration camp. I am not optimistic. If these are the thoughts plaguing me, no wonder I'm exhausted.

  Second grade L's mother got her daughter's father to pick up the session and pay for it. Instead of considering it an additional session, she canceled the one on her time and dime. Her daughter has a terrible time with reading, both decoding and memory. I am applying the phonemic awareness exercise I developed with Adolescent D to all my students. I read recently that poor memory problems may be related to poor phonemic awareness.  

  Adolescent D did fantastic work today. He held on to all the sounds in lobster and blended them. He paid attention to sounds versus meaning. Reminder: most syllables in multi-syllable words are nonsense. We have to figure out each syllable and then blend them. So far, adolescent D's movement has been in the right direction. It is gratifying.

  I called Jean, my Hanai sister. It sounded like the phone was answered and hung up. I called again, unsure. The phone was picked up and hung up again. She was either napping or in a family conference. I would call her back later.

      Damon called. What did we talk about? Everything. I told him about my five tooth extractions and my thoughts about the Zims visit. He has known them as long as I have. I talked about my new wave of grief as I confronted another layer of Mike's absence.

 I also told him I was jealous of his frequent conversations with his mother. He doesn't call me as often. I understand why it is that way on any number of counts: she is his birth mom; she is the one he lived with and spent most of his time with; his mom calls him (I don't because I know he's busy.); she is in much poorer health than I am; and while her husband is alive, he also has some serious health risks. My life is fuller; I have someone, Yvette, watching over me. If anything goes wrong, she will call him immediately. Jean also has a lower tolerance for conversation. She announces she has to nap and has paperwork to do and says goodbye. Damon asked if she also cut me off, announcing she had to nap. I laughed; yes, she did it to me, too. However, we have real satisfying conversations. Jean is not the best at that. Jean and I love each other deeply. Yes, she is Mike's first wife. I am lucky to have her in my life.

  I continued with the thorough cleaning of the lanai. I washed another set of screens and removed some of the carpet stains. Cleaning just one of the screen sections takes at least an hour.

 I made a tuna salad with onions, celery, and mayonnaise. I had a can of tuna sitting on the counter in preparation for several weeks. The onion I bought a while ago was in good shape because I keep it in a brown paper bag in the vegetable bin in the frig. I kept the celery there, too. It had been there for a while. Unbelievably, while it was pale in color, it wasn't limp.

 Adolescent D showed me a passage he wrote by dictating it into Google's speech-to-writing program. His sentences were punctuation-free, but some phrases were complex and interesting. I wondered if those were his words or if he had copied them from someone else. If they were his, this kid has much more going on than we know.

 I watched a bit of The Sinner. I thought I had watched it before and was repelled. I never saw Bill Pullman in the other show. When I read summaries of the series, I noticed I started with season two, starring Matt Borner. He played a very sick man. Yikes! Disgustingly evil. Way out of my comfort zone. The season I was watching now wasn't as dark, but it was hardly a spot of joy either. I was done with edgy. Life was edgy enough.