Saturday, July 27, 2024

 Saturday, July 27, 2024

   I got up to go to the bathroom at 1:30.  I calculated I had three and a half hours of sleep, basically a good nap. I thought I would be up for the rest of the night. I remember reaching for Elsa and finding a foot to hold on to, being half awake at some point. When I finally opened my eyes, it was full light.  I skipped my morning yoga and went for my walk immediately before the sun came over the mountain top and made walking in the sun unpleasant.  While I wasn’t tired, walking was a challenge. I was forcing myself. It has felt that way since I started the punching routine in the morning. Doing it feels like a great release, making my body feel different. I assumed I’d have to get used to the new me. The peacefulness I feel with the release is worth it. I can’t believe the difference in my disposition. 

    Of course, there is another element. I was reading a book that was impacting me, Trying Not to Try by Edward Slingerland. He synthesizes neuroscience and different perspectives of Eastern philosophy and meditation practice to achieve a peaceful life.  My mind has to process this information.  I must sort out my thinking to incorporate what I’ve learned. Making all those new connections takes energy. My brain has to reorganize itself. It’s not something I am doing consciously; I’m just aware it’s happening. I can observe the activity.

  I took a nap after breakfast. Afterward, I went out into the front yard, chain-sawed the sheaths off one of the remaining fronds, stuffed them all into the trash barrel along with the branches from the Crepe Myrtle, and wheeled them down to Darby’s.  She was in the yard when I arrived. She ran to the backyard and said something I didn’t understand because I was listening to Trying Not to Try on Audible. I realized she was rushing to the freezer to get me the promised ulu waffles Patrick had made.

  Another one of my walking buddies revealed marital problems. In both cases, the husband is very controlling and punishing. In the first case, the woman is leaving her husband and taking the kids. They’ve been in therapy for 10 years, and nothing has changed. In this case, a fomenting problem has come to a head. 

    In the other case, the woman has given in to her husband on all counts for years. When she hasn’t, he has threatened divorce. She sought out a marriage counselor. He went to see her once that we know of. We believe he went to make it plain his wife was crazy.  Sadly, I think he believes it. We, there’s another friend in the loop, haven’t heard from our friend in several days. We believe he has threatened to take her 8-year-old daughter from her and cut her off without anything. There’s not much we can do about it.

  I did another Costco run.  Still no vinegar. One Costco employee said they only get two product flats with each shipment. They don’t know what is going on. I only had two items and did the self-service checkout. As I headed for the door,  I walked past the full-service checkout counters and looked for Adolescent D.  I think I saw him. I didn’t see his face; I recognized the haircut, a tall young man with chin-length hair repacking a cart and talking happily to the customer.  It had to be him.  I didn’t see his face. I doubt I would have recognized it. I’ve only seen it twice on Zoom in the last three years.

   I wouldn’t have introduced myself. I think D would be surprised by how short I am, as I am surprised by how tall he is. When I started with him, he was on the cusp of fourteen. He is now seventeen. I have only seen his face twice so far. The first time, he was backlit, and the second time, just after he got his haircut.  

 I had no students today; everyone canceled.