Wednesday, September 18, 2024

 Wednesday, September 18, 2024

 

I went to bed after 10:30 and woke up around 4 a.m. That was a decent night’s sleep despite having slept most of the day again.

    Last night, I sat down with the Covid test Judy brought me. Holy cow! Are those instructions ever complicated, and you’re supposed to follow them when you’re not feeling well.  I got as far as circling the challenging bits in red, laying out a paper towel, and placing all the elements on the test on it. Guess what! One was missing.  It was the four drops of something you added at the end. When I opened that package, it contained one dehydrating packet. That’s it.  I gave up and went to bed. I called Kaiser in the morning to get them to test me.  I had one scheduled for 10:45.  

    Amidst the worst of Covid, they had a tent set up on the far side of the parking lot. You could just drive up whenever and be tested. Today, it was in the building by appointment only. A nurse came in suited up to the whazoo, with a plastic faceshield and a hazmat suit.  It was a quick in and out. I got the results the following day.

   In the midst of all this, I got a call from a woman who told me my name had been given to her by a psychologist on Oahu as an Orton Gillingham tutor.  I’ve never met this lady. I’ve never even spoken to her.  I think she’s the one who referred the sisters I worked with.  I still work with one of them. The other is getting straight As in a high-end private high school.   The younger one has some lingering problems. They’re more psychological than cognitive.

   My back bothered me from lying on the soft sofa.  I looked for my massage gun.  The last time I saw it, it was on one of the lower shelves of the end table by my old-lady chair.  It wasn’t there. I realized I hadn’t seen it in a while. I looked in the other place it might have been, in the library on the charger. It wasn’t there either. 

     Our friend, Scott, may have taken it. I wouldn’t have thought he would do something glike that, but he lied to Yvette about paying me back the money he owed me. That changed the whole picture.  I think he blamed me for his staying here for free for a year. He felt it did more damage to him than good.  I didn’t do anything to make him stay. I just let him stay here for free. He could have left anytime he wanted.  Now, he was in a psychological crisis at the time of his departure. I don’t know that he still feels that way in retrospect. It’s possible. He couldn’t bear being at fault. But he gave me enough that my feelings of warmth and generosity toward him persist. He still gave more than he took.

  I had a 4:30 appointment with fourth-grade LG. We’d been working on reading accuracy.  I told him his errors were not due to a reading problem per se.  “This is a habit you got into when you couldn’t read well. You did a lot of guessing and discovered you’re a good guesser.  You learned to rely on that skill.  You want to sound good when you read, which, for you, means you reading faster.  When you read faster, you make more mistakes. You’ll get better, but you must focus on getting the words right more than getting them fast. When  you do,  you’re reading speed will increase”. LG said, “ You’re the only tutor who has helped me.” And,  “When I first met you, I didn’t think these sessions would be fun. Now, I think they are fun.” Occasionally, a student makes your day with a comment like that. You’d be surprised how infrequent they are. I get satisfaction from seeing the improvement, even when students subsequently spurn me.  I remind them of who they used to be, and they don’t want to be reminded.  

    I had a long talk with my friend Jean about my low spirits. If all that’s left in my life is reading, listening to music, watching TV, doing some arts and crafts projects, and cleaning the house, I don’t see a purpose to living.

  She had the perfect response. She listened without reacting. I can’t begin to tell you what a difference it made. It created a significant shift in my down mood. I wouldn’t say I was buoyant, but I was closer to my usual self. I have to find a way to create meaningful activities for mself.