Wednesday, February 26, 2025

 Wednesday, February 26, 2025

     Today was the last session of the Grief Recovery Method class.  I wasn’t looking forward to it.  I almost forgot about it at one point. I set my alarm, so it didn’t.  I wasn’t sure if the problem was with the work or the instructor.  She had tried to kick me out of the class.  I didn’t make it easy for her.

    I spent the morning mowing the lower lawn, which takes about 45 minutes. After completing that task, I had half an hour before I had to leave for Grief Recovery class.  I ate my breakfast and headed out.

   The six remaining people were all present. I was nervous. As we met in our small groups to read our letters,  I realized I was afraid I would start that deep crying I had done in the second session, which prompted the leader to call me and tell me I didn’t belong in the group because my pain was “too deep.” She gave me several excuses explaining why I wouldn’t benefit from the class.  I told her I would not voluntarily leave. She would have to kick me out in front of the whole class if she felt that strongly.  I knew her problem was that I questioned something she said.

   Today, the leader told a participant that she hadn’t done her homework correctly and couldn’t participate in the small group activity except as a listener. The participant was shocked and looked upset. When we had a break, I asked her if she wanted a hug. She said yes. I whispered in her ear that the leader had tried to kick me out of the program.  She laughed and looked much better.

I can see why it is important to follow the rules. That’s what the program is about; it creates a format for coming to terms with loss. While the leader presented the protocol as if it were the only thing that could work, today, she was a bit softer about it. She acknowledged that there are circumstances where it doesn’t work. For example, it doesn’t work if you’re stuck in a bad relationship; you can’t get out of it easily.  

   In the end, we all hugged. One woman told me how much she appreciated my questions. Some participants may have felt that way, and some may have shared the leader’s feelings, upset that I questioned authority.

   Outside, I got into a conversation with one of the women who was not in my small group. We’re both educators. She asked me about my tutoring and offered to send students my way. We talked about methods of teaching reading. I didn’t go into the details of my method but told her that I had success. With some students, fifteen minutes can turn them around; with others, it takes years to see a big improvement. With some students, my approach to teaching is untenable.

    I hadn’t visited Paulette since the Greif Recovery classes started. It was all too much for me. I didn’t have much time today because I had students starting at 1:30.  Elsa and I love visiting Auntie P.

   I had four students today: the fifth-grade Twins, fifth-grade GV, and fourth-grade LG. I started with Twin E. She read a third-grade passage in IXL fluently and then easily answered comprehension questions. Wow! I completed the compare/contrast exercise with her. She still struggled to understand what was being compared, but once she understood that, she did okay.

  I always started a session by asking a child how the day went. GV said it was a great day in school. Wow! I have never had a child show exuberance about a day in school.  The boy who bullied him (and everyone else, including the teacher) was transferred from his reading class. I said the teacher must be thrilled to have him out of his class. GV told me the boy was in that teacher’s homeroom.

 GV repeated that a teacher told him the boy had a bad home life. I wondered what he had been told. He said he observed his younger brother almost drown. He didn’t help him because he couldn’t swim. Hmm!   That may be a trauma, but it doesn’t adequately explain his extreme behavior.

  GV and I completed the story about how he got his dog, Maggie, and I copied it into Grammarly. Using it has corrected my spelling, capitalization, and clarity and taught me to write better.

  I started a story with LG. It was scattered, but a point emerged. Ah, this was our first attempt.  I look forward to the second and third.  So far, I’ve always had good progress with the co-writing method. In the beginning, my role is more significant. I have to pull ideas out of the student and compose a lot of it myself. I ask the student for details and include any thoughts they casually throw out or sentences they generate. After one or two of these exercises, the student takes over, and I’m just the typist recording their thoughts.