Thursday, December 16, 2021

 Thursday, December 16, 2021

 

   I had a great night's sleep despite getting up to pee more than usual.  The only person I ran into on my morning walk was Kelly with Bailey and Angus. Kelly will be the only one walking in the morning because Colin, a construction manager, is on the night shift until March. The local hospital is redoing rooms at night to reduce disruption.  

   I saw a difference in my range of motion in some of the postures in yoga this morning. Terry did some work on a small groin muscle, which I believe is Michael's muscle or part of a complex of muscles called Michael's muscles.  She is the only one who has a method that relaxes the stress effectively. 

   Elsa was obsessed with her ball today.  First, she perched herself in front of Jared, pawing at him, demanding he throw the damn ball.  Yvette took it away from her and put it on top of the chest sitting in the driveway, covered in a worn moving blanket.  Elsa clawed at it, making holes.  Yvette threw the ball into the house. Elsa clawed at the metal door, creating an annoying sound; Yvette put her inside. That allowed us to go on with the yoga class in peace.

    I asked Yvette if she knew what was under the moving blanket. Yes. It's a chest my mother designed and made in Germany before moving to the USA. I'm not exactly sure when she had, it made. It could be a hundred years old. 

    Why do I have an ancient chest sitting in the driveway under an old, worn-out moving blanket? The question is why I keep the chest in the first place.  I tried to get rid of it about twenty years ago when Mike and I planned our move from Princeton to Ohio. In Princeton, the chest sat in our family room. Mike convinced me to get rid of the chest. Around that time, I suffered from a form of narcolepsy; I was falling asleep at the wheel.  I asked my unconscious why this was happening. The answer had something to do with the chest. It had some connection to my mom. I told Mike that we had to take it with us to Ohio.  There it sat in our garage. Now, it sits in our driveway. We're keeping it until staying alive is no longer an issue for me. 

    My niece Shivani lost her husband shortly after they were married.  She told me she held on to his cell phone.   I pointed to the chest and told her my story. She said, "Oh, boy."

     Today, Yvette asked me if we couldn't get a better-looking cover for the chest. Sure.  That should be okay.

      After the yoga class, two of the participants distributed gifts. Elise had prepared packages of three homemade sugar cookies for each student.  Joe passed out purchased packages of Lindt chocolates.  They did it today, unsure if we would have class over the holidays.  Not only will we have class, but Yvette has bullied Damon into participating in one of them -at least. 

   Scott came and helped me move my portable floor air conditioner outside.  We have it in the guest room for Damon when he visits, and he was planning to come for Christmas. He hadn't been here since February of 2020, when we interred Mike's ashes. The air conditioner setup fell apart.  B had cut the screen to put the vent in the window and cut a piece of plexiglass to cover the rest of the window.  The tube that connected the air conditioner to the window vent broke. I thought I would go to Home Depot and find a replacement part. Good thing I said something to Scott about it. He said, "No. These parts have to be ordered from the manufacturer. They are very specific to the instrument." 

     I snapped a picture of the product information on the air-conditioned.  What a luxury having a readily available camera on my phone. There have been several situations where I would have to be a gymnast to get myself into a position to read the product information plaque on a piece of equipment.  However, I can easily position the camera and get a good shot. Then I have the information recorded for easy reference. I would have to write all the information down; I'd have to worry if I got it correct. Not now. 

     I put the information online, looking for a replacement hose to connect the air conditioner to the vent in the window.  I found an item on the Replacement Parts site.  The items cost $35. The shipping charge was an additional $65. That's Hawaii!   It cost $15 to send it to LA. I texted Cylin. If I had the hose mailed to her, would she be good with bringing the hose with her when she came over Christmas?  Of course. Just to be on the safe side, I contacted an agent.  I gave him the model number on the air conditioner.  He discovered I had identified the wrong item, and the shipping charge for that item was only $16.75. What!!??? Are you sure?  He assured me with impatience in his tone.  Great!  It will arrive before Damon does. All's good.

    At 3 pm I had third grade A.  As usual, his parents signed him in late. As usual, they remembered because I texted and then called them to remind them.  I followed up with Phase III.  A. cannot remember more than three words at a time.  In fact, he has trouble identifying the next word in a sentence when I say it. If we are working on the sentence, 'The dog chased the ball,' I have to repeat the sentence.  After he has said the first word, I repeat the sentence and ask him what the next word is. I sometimes have to say, "What is the word after The?" Even that can be a challenge.  His reading of the text was disappointing today.  I finally asked him what part of the brain he was using. He pointed to his forehead.  I reminded him that doesn't work as well for processing language.  He had to make an effort to use the left side of his brain.   Immediately, his performance improved.  Even I was surprised at the difference that slight shift made.

   At the end of the day, I had adolescent D. We had established on Tuesday that his perfectionism was an obstacle to his success at anything. I didn't know how to proceed.  I talked more about why perfectionism is destructive.  I gave examples from my own life.  I talked about introversion and extroversion on a continuum.  Both extremes are dysfunctional.  It is destructive to the extent that either position is taken out of fear versus love, interest, or any positive motivation.  He seemed to agree with my take on everything. Great. Without conscious agreement and a conscious desire to change, it is impossible to impact a person.  However, I didn't know how to approach the process of healing with him.

   I sat quietly until something occurred to me.  I have many tricks in my bag, but I don't work by formula. I wait until it feels right to me.  I also instruct the client that it always must feel right to them. It's their job to carefully listen to themselves. On a range of 1-10, their discomfort shouldn't fall below a 7.  If it does, they are to tell me immediately. I don't believe in pressuring people to do something in the healing context.  I sometimes see insisting as a good strategy in the teaching context to get someone over a hump.  For me, it's up there with using a strong spice- only occasionally and sparingly.  What came to me is for him to set an intention of healing the perfectionism and allowing me in through a recent annoyance, nothing deep. 

    I asked him to think of something that annoyed him. He did and said, "I'm okay." I told him I needed him to share it with me if I was going to help- him. "That's okay." He finally said he didn't want to tell me.  Okay, could he think of another incident?  He had the same reaction.  This got me into asking him if he preferred to hide from people. Since March, I have worked with this boy on zoom, and I still haven't seen his face. He is a hider.  

    Rather than push him further on the annoyance question, I led him through a release: release anything negative about hating his inclination to hide and keep anything positive or anything he still needed.  No release.  I switched to the opposite: Release anything negative about his love of his inclination to hide, etc.  That got a good-sized release.  I asked him if he was proud of his ability to conceal himself from others. He said no.  I asked if he liked his ability to conceal himself from others. Yes.  I told him that was pride.  It felt like he was playing 'gotcha' with people.  He sees power in his ability to conceal himself from others.  Not good. Connecting pride with a self-destructive skill is terrible news. Let's see where this goes.

   I watched more of The Durrells tonight. Lovely.