Saturday, December 31, 2022

Saturday, December 31, 2022

 

     Damon called just as I woke up. I went out for one of my short walks while we talked. I try to walk whenever I’m on the phone. That’s how I get my steps in.

     My sister texted me that she had to put down her beloved cat, James. He was one of those cats that makes an excellent companion. He slept pressed up against her back. He sat on her lap at night as she watched T.V.  

Elsa has only recently accepted me as a loving companion. I can’t imagine losing her now. My heart went out to Dorothy.

   I did almost nothing all day. I was dealing with grief. It physically hurt. I wondered if I was just ill. If so, with what? I wasn’t running a temperature. However, I had that weird feeling you get under your skin while running a fever.

   When I walk these days, I move through my toes. I push off from the tips after rolling through all the joints. Besides being good for my feet and legs, I cover ground more quickly.

   I remember Gokhale saying the tribes she observed took small steps. If they needed to move faster, they increased the number of steps they took, not the width of their stride. However, the distance between the footfall of the first step and the next is much greater if you push through on your toes than if you don’t. If you walk with flat feet, putting down the whole sole at once, you need to increase your stride to gain distance.

   I signed into Zoom for my appointment with Mama K’s crew. They didn’t sign on. I called Mama K and then their older sister. They finally got back to me and asked me to cancel. I was happy not to have any sessions. I didn’t want any contact with another human being. I was dealing with grief again. It comes in waves.

   I worked on the updates and cleaned up poop from the lanai rug. I figured Elsa had done her business there at some point. She hadn’t pooped enough on our walks.

   The firecrackers started right after dark. Elsa asked to be picked up and clung to me briefly. Then she lay on the floor at my feet and went to sleep. She figured out these loud noises were no threat to her.

    I started to watch White Noise on Netflix. I love Adam Driver. He projects a depth of character, which is my type of person. I checked out the plot on Wiki. I don’t think so. I do not need additional stress in my life.

   I went to bed at my usual time, around 10 pm. New Year’s Eve held no meaning for me. It hasn’t since my dad died. I never had a New Year’s Eve date except for this one year when I had two offers. However, my mom had bought tickets for a Broadway play for me and my sister. I realized I would prefer to spend the time with someone I knew well. I went to the play Ready When You Are J.B. with Dorothy. I don’t remember the play. I do remember being on the Long Island Railroad, heading home at midnight. At midnight, I saw people running out into the street from the train window. Dorothy was asleep. No one in the car said a word. I was happy to be where I was.

   At midnight, the sounds and smells of the firecrackers invaded my bedroom, and I woke up. I watch some of the displays from my bed. Elsa slept through the whole thing.