Thursday, January 5, 2023

 Thursday, January 5, 2023

     As I lay in bed this morning, I felt pressure in my chest. I didn’t think it was a heart attack, but it was weird. I sure didn’t have an elephant on my chest, more like my thirteen-pound dog. However, Elsa was nowhere near me at the time. I also felt the pressure on the back of my chest. I had a medical appointment scheduled to have a complete body dermatological check. I planned to mention this experience to the doctor.

  Jean, my friend who is visiting from Arizona, came to visit. I had an actual person in my house for conversation. How lovely! I have plenty of in-person conversations on my walks. But this is the first sit-down conversation since Christmas dinner when Scott cooked for Yvette, me, and Josh. It was lovely.

   Other than that, it was a day of cancelations. The mom of third-grade J and first-grade Iz texted at the last minute that she had a work emergency and had to take her kids with her. I signed in for eighth-grade K. No show. No one answered their phone. I suspected I was being ghosted. K refused to participate in the last session. I suspect his mom indulges him. However, there could be a serious reason for their silence. Whatever the cause, it finally made me realize I could not continue working with this boy. I have to bully him to get anything out of him. This can’t be good for him, and I’m sure it’s not good for me.

      I am willing and happy to put up with a lot if I can do some good. I don’t feel this way in this case. I have no idea what this boy’s problem is. He is limited in his verbal expression. It’s not that he can’t speak; he is unwilling to. Why is he this way? I have no idea. Does he have a cognitive problem, an emotional one, or a perceptual one? I feel lost. I could put up with the boy, but I don’t have his mother on my side. I think she is committed to protecting him. That’s a natural parental response. She needs him to work with someone she trusts to be on his side. I think she sees all criticisms of him as an attack rather than a diagnosis. However, I have no real idea what’s happening in her head more than I do with his.

     I was supposed to meet with adolescent D for ten minutes. I got lost with all the cancelations and forgot about him.

    Paulette dropped off a supply of Kangen water. We had trouble coordinating our schedules so I could pick it up from her for two days, and I was just too lazy today. She gave me a big hug. She is a great hugger.