Saturday, November 30, 2024

 Saturday, November 30, 2024 

     Damn! I was awake by 2:30 and didn't sleep well after that.  Of course, I had had five hours of solid sleep. Why would I expect more?  I lived on five hours of sleep a night when I was younger, when I had a full-time job with a half-hour commute each way, meditated twice a day, and exercised regularly. Then, I was lucky I got that much time to lie and bed, no less sleep. I have nothing to complain about.

    Elsa and I were walking before the first sign of light above the mountain.  It was unusually warm which warned of an unusually hot day for winter. 

   I met with fourth grade MH today instead of on Sunday. I noticed her oral reading didn't sound fluent—it was choppy, whereas I've heard her reading smoothly. Was she having problems with the unfamiliar syntax? I came up with a possible resolution.

     I read the passage to her before having her read it. This is one strategy in the Whole Language approach. Doing so gave me more control over when I stopped to ask questions. MH didn't use context as much as she should. Each sentence stood on its own. I had more control over the presentation. She read smoothly after I had read and explained the passage.  It does seem the complex sentences were the problem.

   Since I discovered the Plus catalog in Audible with all its free books, I've been listening all the time. It's close to addictive. When I'm on Audible, my negative voice isn't audible. I wonder if people who read a lot are introverted or if reading a lot makes you introverted. I'm learning that reading books, particularly fiction, is comforting. Also, I can listen while doing other things, like gardening, cleaning the house, or shopping. 

   My niece Shivani introduced me to that idea.  I listed what I considered the benefits of reading. She surprised me when she pointed out I hadn't included comfort in the list. It never occurred to me to read for comfort.  I still don't think I find reading a hard copy comforting in the same way. When a tangential thought arises, I will put the book down and explore the idea. With the audible version of the book, it moves on before  I can indulge in my own responses.  It doesn't stop and allow my thoughts to dominate.  It's lovely. 

   A friend said she prefers reading the hard copy of a book rather than listening to it because she gets distracted.   I get distracted either way. With the print version, I put the book down and indulge my thoughts. With the audible version,  the words continue without regard for my thoughts, and I reengage, abandoning my internal monologue. Do I miss something? Yes. If it's fiction, I can usually infer whatever content was missed. If it's something important, it's repeated.  

   When I was in my twenties, a friend once said, "Do you ever read a book for its own sake?" What does that mean?  How do you ever read a book for its own sake? Why would you read it if you weren't getting something from it?  I don't understand who benefits from my reading a book other than me, unless the author is someone I know who wants me to read it. But I'm not reading it for the book's sake; I'm reading it for the author's sake.  While I appreciate that authors want people to read what they've written, I still can't imagine reading books to make authors who know nothing about my existence care if I read them.  Reading a book for its own sake is still an alien concept.  I listen to books now because they give me pleasure, comfort, and knowledge.

   My way of relating to people is different. I have less interest. I'm happy to retreat into the novel.  This is the first time in my life that I have deliberately used books that way. Not that I haven't occasionally been captured by a book and hated to put it down.  And once, I used a book on tape to get me through a period of intense sadness when it became clear that a significant relationship was not what I thought it was.