Thursday, November 28, 2024
I went to bed after 10 last night and slept straight through to 4 a.m. I probably got up at least once to pee, but it didn't disturb my sleep. Ah. That felt great. I was peaceful even when I woke up. I attribute it to a renewal of Mike's presence.
Two days ago, I got a mailing from St. Michael's church on Stewardship renewal, a list of ways we can contribute to the church: time, talent, or treasure. I carefully read the pamphlet, listing all the things we could do. I was looking for information on tutoring at the community center at Ulu Wini. There was none. It isn't a well-developed ministry. It doesn't have a leader. If I want it advertised, I'll have to do it.
As I held the pamphlet in my hands, I felt a surge of calming energy, like Mike was here with me, comforting me. Every time I held the pamphlet, I felt it again. I put it under my pillow to feel Mike's presence at night.
Last night, Joseph's car was still out when I went to bed. When I got up this morning, it still wasn't in the driveway. He had never been out all night before. I texted him, asking him to assure me he was okay. I wasn't in a panic, just concerned. I didn't feel I had to go into his room to check on him or call the police to have them do it.
I saw the light go on in his bathroom. He was home. Ah! Then, it dawned on me that he had parked on the street because my car wasn't in the driveway. I hadn't told him my car was doing an overnight at the garage. He didn't want to block my access to my parking spot. I must have seen his car parked on the street but didn't register it.
My first chore for the day was to water the forty-two Eldorado shrubs Margo and her husband had delivered yesterday. These will go into that space that was backhoed and covered in several feet of mulch about a year ago. I had to wait so the heat built up by the rotting mulch killed the remaining roots of ficus trees that had been growing, threatening a root wall and cement driveway with their aggressive root system.
I came back in the house to grab some breakfast before going out to continue trimming the plumbago. I caught Joseph heading for the door for the nine a.m. Thanksgiving mass. I was planning to go. I planned to ask Judy and Paulette for a ride, but I forgot. I asked Joseph if he could wait a minute while I got dressed. I was done in minutes. On the way there, he told me he would stay late to say the rosary with the Young Adult Group. I told him. No worries, I would go home with Judy and Paulette. They hadn't gone to mass, as many families hadn't. they were home preparing for the feast.
The Hula Ministry performed the dance I started to learn. They looked fantastic. They were in unison, down to the finest details of the hand motions. Knowing more about the dance, I was more appreciative of what they did. It must have been a dance many had done before because several dancers there had not been to a single practice session I attended.
If I waited, I could go home with Joseph. I wanted to get home earlier so I could work on the plumbagos before it got too hot. Sandor was the deacon of the mass. I would ask him. Palisades was on his way home, with a slight detour. He was happy to drive me. unfortunately, he spoke about how much he owed Mike and me for all we had done for him. I have a strong preference for joyful giving rather than obligation.
Judy had aimed for everyone to arrive at 3:30. The only nonfamily members were me and
Joseph. The other six adults were involved with food preparation. Judy called at 3:30 to say it would be more like 4:15. She was told to wait until she called. Around 4:30, she gave the go-ahead.
Joseph drove us to Judy's, four driveways from our own and up a steep hill. The delay was caused by problems with the turkey. They planned to smoke it, but the smoker didn't work, so they had to go the oven route. The food was delicious: turkey, mashed potatoes, baked sweet potatoes, not yams, asparagus, scalloped corn, and Adam's incredible cranberry sauce. Judy made apple pie with an old-fashioned Crisco crust and pumpkin squares for dessert.
The food was delicious, all the more so because I live on a diet of frozen meals.
After my mother came home from the hospital after her stroke, I was responsible for her meals. I don't cook. I tried frozen meals. In 2000, they were nothing like they are these days. My mother complained bitterly. "This is not food!"
Mike came to the rescue. He planned to spend the semester in a dorm in DC, writing his Ph.D. thesis. Because of my mom's situation, he abandoned that plan, came home, and worked on it there. He outdid himself cooking for my mom. He felt it was her one form of stimulation. I benefitted from his efforts.
I have been binging on Audible. I get one credit a month to purchase a book and unlimited access to their free plus catalog. I take full advantage of the latter. I have discovered some delightful books. I've never been much of a reader. I'm easily distracted by my own thoughts. I love generating theories, as anyone who reads these updates knows well. As a result, I have never seen reading as a source of comfort or escape. People who read a lot tend to be more introverted. I can think of an exception, my friend E.J., who loved to read and was as social as I am. Now, with unlimited access to these audiobooks, I find I can use fiction as an escape and a source of comfort. I know it's good because I can silence my ruminating mind, but I'm concerned about being less invested in others. Who needs them when I have a fantasy world to live in?
Some books are well constructed. Some are not. I just finished The Secrets We Left Behind. The language is good, and there are delightful moments, but the plot line is frustrating. The author ignored the 'rule of three.' The main character must have expressed concern about revealing her secret at least half a dozen times, if not more. It made the book downright unpleasant. Suspension is fun, however, dragged out, it becomes frustration.
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