I've only been managing 4,000 steps each morning because my left leg's thigh muscles start complaining. I am getting a greater range of motion in my right hip as I walk. This is what is creating the strain on the left. Again, two steps forward and one step back. I still do 10,000 steps a day. I do a lot of the walking inside the house, back and forth, back and forth.
At the start of yoga, Yvette told as to look at the sky and notice the color. "Vog," I said. I haven't mentioned the volcano that erupted -again- on the 20th because it doesn't have much impact on me. It's one hundred miles away. But the vog, on yes, the vog, that does have an impact. It's like one of those softening filters they use for old actors in the movie industry to make them look younger. What the filters do is dull the image. We now have a dulled image of the sky and the sea. As I lay there this morning, the sky directly above me looked blue, but a little to the left or the right, it was just haze. The horizon line is also a blur. I can still see the ocean and the sky; I have little to complain about, but I am complaining.
I feel down today too. Lightweight, empty. It's a weird feeling.
Dorothy knew of all these features in PowerPoint, specifically the draw feature. We weren't able to find it on my computer. She had done some research. When I called her, we tried to find it on my laptop. Nope. I had an old version that didn't have that feature. We were going to call a family member to figure out what I should do. I sent out signals to a few people and got no response.
I was not going to go with just any option. Doing that is what got me involved with the tech people who scammed in the first place. I finally called a local support company. The one I took my computers to after I got through with the scammers. Someone called me back within an hour. He was in Oregon, where he now lives. He used to work for the local company but wanted to be able to earn more money. His boss at 808 computer liked his work so much, he offered him the opportunity to work remotely, so that's what he did.
Thank God I had him. It will cost me a pretty penny, but I could never have done all this on my own, at least not with confidence. I couldn't have expected a family member to stay on the line with me for as long.
It was so good to have someone to interact with, even a stranger, over the phone. I told Chris, the computer guy, about my loss of Mike. It came up because we needed to find his old password for something on the tablet. I made my usual joke about his being so inconsiderate to die without passing on his passwords with his dying breath. I also told Chris about what I learned from my experience with the scammers. He knew about them because it was his company that worked on my computers after the scammers got through with it, or after I got through with the scammers.
I shared with Chris this weird experience I had with them. There is no way I didn't know there was something wrong, but I couldn't simply put the phone down and disconnect. Why? I concluded that I experienced a type of intimacy, which occurs between a hunter and his prey.
I have heard people say that they are attracted to people because they want to be with them 24 hours a day, simply can't get enough. Mike and I didn't have that. We were perfectly happy doing our own thing. What we did have was a connection that never broke. We were always feeling the periphery of our energy fields for the other's presence. We always were thinking/ aware of the other. We knew where the other one was. If Mike traveled, he called daily. The connection was vital. Now I have no one for I am #1; I have no one who thinks of me all the time as some level of their consciousness or more over their unconsciousness. It leaves me wondering if I exist. Well, I don't exist in the world the way I did when Mike was alive. This is a new way to be. I'm sure I'll get used to it, but I will have to do some grieving first.
At the end of the day, I had bought a subscription for Microsoft Office, again. I believe the scammers 'sold' one to me, but it wasn't on my computer. They couldn't have removed it as their last act; this computer was at the local computer store thanks to one of their techs. I need an updated operating system. The tech I got said he couldn't download it without putting all my files in jeopardy. He told me to get someone local to do it. Not all the guys who work for this company are scammers.
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