Friday, October 4, 2024

Friday, October 4, 2024 

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struggle.  I must have dozed on and off, but most of the time was spent  dealing with my 'agony.' 

    Today was the Hula class. It was the first session of a group of ten.  I forgot and didn't have cash to pay the $20 fee.  I only had seventeen dollars.  I borrowed three from Elaine, a woman I know from the neighborhood who told me about these classes.

   A woman who reminds me of Estelle Parsons was there. I observed her in her first class. She looked like someone who had done Hula before. No. She was a gym teacher. I love watching her talk. Athletes know about isolating movements and which joints to activate. She doesn't just use her hands and arms when she speaks; her whole body moves.  I thought this was what I must have looked like when I was younger. She didn't respond well when I told her she reminded me of Estelle Parson and that she should look her up.  Oh, well. I enjoy watching her.

   After the Hula class, I went to Collette's Custom Framing for a price for crating Jean's 35 lbs. cement angel for shipping.  Collette measured the statue as it lay on my back seat. I called Jean, who was at Target shopping with her grandkids. $300. That was not doable.  I suggested that I transfer the angel from my car to hers so she could figure out what to do.  I drove over to Target.  I waited at the front door, pacing back and forth to get in my steps for the day. When they came out, they figured out where our cars were parked. It made more sense for her to pull up her car behind mine.  Her 4th-grade grandson helped me move it from my car to hers.

   After I had lunch at home, I went to Ulu Wini. My first student was 3rd grade PH. I asked her to name the vowels. She remembered IOU but not AE.  I drilled the whole sequence with her. Then, I had her name each letter in sequence in a text.  She skipped some of the letters. That signals a visual perception problem. I asked her if the letters moved around.  Yes. I lead her through a spin release. Afterward, she said the letters were stable. PH is a flake; it is hard to know what is happening with her. I will follow up with her.

   I also worked with 6th-grade ML and RM on math. I was concerned that their math might be out of my range.  Their homework was on the Distributive principle of multiplication.  They were given  524 x 56= , versus 524 x 50 and 524x 6=, versus 524 x 30=, 524 x 20= and 524x 6=. They had no idea what they were looking at.  It took me a minute to figure it out.  They had to say why one would solve the problem one way versus the other. They didn't know what distributive meant, no less perceive the relationship of the different ways of presenting the problem.  They did not see the base word distribute in the word.  I got them to the point where they saw how the 56 was 'distributed.'

   I also worked with first-grade PY on learning the vowel letters so I could work on decoding. I teach that the vowel letters are the cornerstone of each syllable. Given how low-functioning she was, I started with Carpenter's Sassy the Cat, which uses a lot of -at words.  She progressed quickly. She could recall words when she saw them again in the text.  Many students can't do that. She used crossbody blending without prompting. This is a good sign she will learn to read quickly. The only glitch was her b/d confusion. I didn't work on that today.

    I texted Joseph to ask him if her would help me lift the large container Jean and I packed with the two small angels the other day.  I thought I would have to help him or ask Josh or Yvette to come up.  He lifted it with ease. Was I once that strong?

  I have run into several people who consider every request a criticism. They should have thought to offer it; if they didn't, they did something wrong. These very people see everyone as judgmental. How do you get around something like that?

   Any interaction between two people is what each one wants.  The likelihood of that always being the same is nil. At the level of interpersonal interaction, right and wrong is not relevant.  You either want to do it the other person's way, or you don't. From there, you can either work out a mutually comfortable solution or not. 

   Sometimes, you can't find a solution that works for both parties because one refuses or can't consider other options. In that case, it depends on who has the power, not right or wrong.  That's the issue in a date rape situation.  There's a conflict of wills.  At the moment, it's irrelevant who's right and who's wrong.  The man wants something the woman doesn't want to give him. Period end of sentence. There was a time when it was considered a man's right to force a woman, particularly if she was his wife. The woman couldn't get away. There was nowhere to go. By the standard of the time, the man was right.  In the moment, if he wanted X, and she wanted Y.  If the man forced himself on her, he was violating the boundary. Sadly, it becomes a matter of right and wrong for the woman who often blames herself for the incident and sees it as a sign of her unworthiness.  The human psyche is tricky. I wonder how that twisted thinking was ever a survival trait?

   

Without Pleasure

We are sacrificed for the other person's benefit. We are not given a choice; we are forced by the other person to do it their way.

Without Pleasure

We sacrifice ourselves for the other person's benefit. The only pleasure comes from accumulating halo points.

For Pleasure, with some Adjustment:

 The other person doesn't want to do what we want.  We can do it their way and enjoy the adventure of the unexpected or suffer minor discomfort.

For  our Pleasure

What we do for and with others for sheer pleasure.

Both parties want to do it for themselves.

  

   These are the only categories of interpersonal transactions that come to mind today. If anyone has other thoughts, I would love to hear them.