Saturday, March 26, 2022

 Saturday, March 26, 2022  

 

   Today is the 66th anniversary of my father’s death. He died when I was fifteen. How’s that for a kick in the pants.

    I committed to volunteer to help register the contestants for the charity golf tournament for our church. The other posts were out at the various holes. I didn’t want to be that far from a bathroom or have to stand endlessly. One of the other volunteers told a story confirming my concerns. A few years ago, she and another volunteer were driven out to a hole at a golf charity event. It was rainy and cold. The best part was they were forgotten. They stood out there long after the tournament was over. Someone finally thought to go out and pick them up. 

    I set my alarm for 4:45 am. I showered before I went to bed and selected an outfit. I got dressed before I took Elsa out for a walk. I also put the heated water into her food bowl before leaving it with some ice to ensure it was cool enough for her to eat. I made soup for myself, put it in a flask, and grabbed some fruit. I picked up a blanket at the last minute in case it was cold at the country club at 6 am. 

   I took a long, out-of-the-way route along Ali’I Drive to the country club for safety reasons. I have heard several stories of bad accidents early in the morning when teenagers come home drunk from all-night parties. Ali’i Drive, filled with restaurants and shops, goes through the tourist hub of town. The country club is at the far end of the street. The speed limit is between 15 and 25 miles per hour. I thought I’d be unlikely to come across a drunk teenager there. If I did, how much damage could they do at under 25 miles per hour? It took me 45 minutes to get there instead of 30, but I was good with that. 

   My leg was in complaint mode. I hobbled down a steep decline to the entrance from the parking lot with the aid of my walking stick. I was given instructions. The job had three parts: check off names, pass out paperwork and tokens, and collect cash. I was shown all three, only to discover that I would only be responsible for one. I sat at a table with two other women. 

    The chairs were those plastic garden variety, hard on the back. I asked one of the organizers if I could get a cushion. She grabbed one from a sofa. I used it as a backrest, pushing me to the front of the chair, eliminating the need to work to sit at the front of that slanted seat. Because I was in the first chair, I got the job of checking off names. I was handed the check-off sheets.

   Cathy got the job of passing out the paperwork and tokens. I knew her and her husband Tony from church. She is a cheery person. She and Tony have been together since she was 15 and he was 16. I can’t imagine what it will feel like to one if the other goes. How do you survive that loss when it is all you’ve ever known? They still love each other and enjoy each other. Pretty amazing to pick out someone at that age and make it work.

    While I had brought food, they were also serving some. Donuts, Danishes, coffee, and some fruit. I couldn’t resist the apple Danish.

     One of the organizers came over to me and told me I was sitting in the wrong place. I should move to the middle position since I was checking off names. I should be next to the person who collected the money. I saw a problem and said, “That doesn’t make sense.”   He said if I didn’t understand, maybe I shouldn’t be there. I said, “Do you want me to go home?”   The woman collecting the cash intervened. She said this is the way it was always organized. I said something about the gentleman being grouchy. He said I asked too many questions. Huh? The work wasn’t overwhelming. I enjoyed the stimulus. I left at 8 am.

   Jean, my hanai sister, called. She wanted to update me on the reception of Damon’s movie. He is the creative producer on this project. The Bad Guys movie would be released in the states in April. However, it had already been released abroad and was playing to good reviews. I’ve seen the previews. It’s snarky. I’d love to see something gentle. I’m snarky enough to fill my needs for that.

   My friend Carol Zim called to check up on my well-being. Eh! I’m slipping into sadness or depression. I had no idea what it had to do with. There was so much to choose from. Mike’s death, underlying life-long depression, and poor response (quantity-wise) to my videos,  

     I got a text from M & W sisters’ mom saying they were still at the basketball tournament. After another postponement, she just canceled.  

   At five, I got a text from Jana, one of the Step-Up tutors, who asked me to mentor her. I forgot. I want people interested in my work, and then I forget to respond. Something was going on within me that wasn’t clear. I signed on immediately.  

  Jana had done some work with her student on syllable division. Her student has impressive skills. Jana says she made significant progress with my method of teaching. I didn’t see where she started, but her current performance was impressive as far as I was concerned. Jana was still impressed by how far behind her student was from other children in her grade. Jana compared this child’s performance to the performance of her five children. Jana home-schooled every one of them. 

     The topic of ‘proper’ language came up. I strongly advocate not correcting’ students’ ‘poor’ English skills unless they are just learning English. Jana asked, “But how will they learn to speak properly?”  While I think it is important to learn to speak standard English, I don’t think standard English is a better way to speak. The best way to speak is always the most effective means of communication between people. We need to learn standard English because it is necessary for economic success. However, if you’re in a group of Latinos who speak Spanglish, that’s the best way to speak. 

    The easiest way to communicate this difference is to describe the difference between prescriptive and descriptive linguistics. With prescriptive linguistics, you pass on the rules of how it should be. In descriptive linguistics, you describe what is without judgment. Jana asked, but how do you teach the standard language. With my method, you do that without judgment. When you compare the two ways of speaking as a matter of interest, you show the student the standard version. When comparing the difference between the two languages without judgment, it’s interesting. The teacher learns the student’s pronunciation or grammar as much as the student learns the teacher’s. This creates an opportunity to learn for the student in a non-threatening environment. The goal is for the student to be bi-dialectal. They should keep their regional speech to effectively communicate within their own community. 

   Here’s a funny story that should bring the point home. After studying French at the Sorbonne, my sister, and mother toured Europe. They ran into a British woman in Switzerland, who asked her if she had lost her accent upon learning that my sister had spent time studying French in France. Dorothy said, “People say my French accent is excellent.” The woman said, “Oh, I’m not talking about your French. I’m talking about your American English. Have you lost that accent?” Dorothy said, “I wasn’t trying to.”  This is how our students feel when we put down their way of speaking. Judgment is not a good teaching strategy.

   As I closed the Zoom app, I heard someone in my driveway call my name. It was my neighbor   Lutz. He had just returned from a three-month jaunt in Colombia. He was exploring it as a place to live when he retired. Before he traveled to Colombia, he thought it was now one of the most peaceful places on earth. The author of High Conflict described how the high-conflict state of Colombia had been eliminated, but it was waiting in the wings. Lutz said that while he was there, the far left and the far right were lobbing hand grenades at each other. He decided it was not a good place to move. 

   Lutz speaks with much enthusiasm. I found him bombastic and arrogant when I first met him as he commented on other people’s stupidity. Yes, he does that, but he is also open-minded. When I called him on his judgment, he backed down. He said he liked it when people challenged him; it was an opportunity to learn something new. Since then, I have enjoyed his company on my evening walks.