Tuesday, March 15, 2022

 Tuesday, March 15, 2022

 

    Again, I woke up with this aching feeling. I concluded this was just grief over the loss of Mike. Some don't enjoy me the way I would like. They downright tolerate me. Family! People I can't get rid of so easily. As Damon said, "Family is overrated." But that's neither here nor there. The most loving family members won't make up for my loss. I was Mike's #1, and he was mine. And he always greeted me with joy, as I did him. We were happy to see each other. I heard a line on a TV show last night that resonated. A couple hit a speed bump and were going to allow their relationship to slip away. A friend said, "You two really care about each other. Do you know how rare that is? Don't let it slip away." Mike and I wanted what was best for each other. 

   I stayed in bed until 6:30. When exiting the side door with Elsa for our morning walk, I noticed the trunk of my car was open. Then I saw someone leaning on the trunk. Ah, B. Right! I had promised to drive him to the airport by 7 am and had forgotten. I took Elsa for a short walk with plans for a longer one when I returned. B, Elsa, and I were on the road by 6:50. That got us to the airport by 7 am. It's only down the hill from us. Unbelievably, we rarely hear the sound of the planes taking off and landing. They go out over the ocean and come in that way too. It's only the occasional military plane that flies overhead. Sometimes we get to see military planes practice take-offs and landings over and over and over again.

    Mike, the sprinkler guy, came by this morning. He bounced on the exposed pipes. Yeah, you can see a slow leak at the joints. Running over a submerged valve with a car does a lot of damage. He cut out the valve and the surrounding pipes. He charged me another $195. This little accident cost a total of $585. Adam did all that digging as a friend for free. That would have cost me another $200. Mike suggested we put in a fence post to ensure no one ever drives over it again. Scott could do that. The holes need to be filled up again anyway.

   I had a luncheon date with Zola at one. Because of the time change, the meeting time for the tutor get-together was at 2 pm rather than 3. I wanted to participate. Zola shifted the lunchtime to 12:30. We met at Papa Kona's. It's one of my favorite restaurants because of the view while sitting in a well-shaded dining area. Zola and I often talk about grief. I lost Mike, and Zola lost two of her five children. Our grief is different but the same in fundamental ways. We talk about lots of things, all with enthusiasm. It's always something to look forward to. Zola also organizes group luncheons with a few ladies from the church. That's another treat.

    I got home in time for the Tutor Community Building Event. I signed on. The host was talking to a parent and a child. That's it. Last week, I got on late, and there was no one. The host said there had been three people, but they had already left the meeting. He said there would be a planning event at four my time. He would send me the link. He didn't. 

    After the 2 pm event that wasn't, Judy stopped by before returning to work with Mei's Turo cars. Today, the arborist took down this enormous tree threatening her roof. I discovered they would leave some of the tree, unlike the original plan to take it down, so it wouldn't regrow. The roots may still be a threat to the house foundation.

  The moment Judy left, I was down for a nap. I was exhausted. I woke up to nerve pain running down my left leg. It wasn't terrible, but that pain was scary because it came from a pinched nerve. Is this related to the nonexistent cartilage in my left hip? The leg had been giving me problems since last night. Once up, I used the massage gun on my hip and leg. That solved the problem. 

   My friend Jean is visiting from Arizona to be with her daughter and grandkids. It's spring break, and they are home from school. She was so excited.

   I spoke to JF about mentoring her. she wants to make sure she does everything correctly. From what she said, it sounded like she wanted training to present herself as an expert in PDS, the method I developed. She commented on how quickly her third-grade student got the method and started decoding on her own. Isaac made the same comment. This is the magic that 'gets passed out on the days when the poor students are absent. No, it is not explicitly taught. This process is something the 'good' students get on their own. Every student has to adopt this method to become a good reader in English, perhaps any alphabetic language. The problem for teachers is there needs to be a clear lesson plan for teaching it. That's all my method is, something all good readers already do.

  I always ask student tutors to let me know how it went when they applied the methods I taught. Of course, only the successful ones get back to me. Still, the results are amazing. Below is feedback on advice I gave for teaching expository writing to an anxious student.

 

Hi Betty!

 

Armed with some ideas from our discussion yesterday, I got my 6th-grade student to create a draft of an essay that ended up being 700 words with essentially no anxiety at all!

 

I tried the method of having her close any homework out entirely and only have Zoom up with our faces. Then, I asked her a bunch of questions that would help create a structured essay, transcribing everything she said. The huge difference between having the homework visible with the writing prompt and blank page up vs just looking at my face without seeing anything else was incredible. I also modeled some more critical-thinking-type ideas for her in question form, like "would you say that [statement statement statement]," so her verbal answer could mirror it. And I made sure to ground the questions to her, asking questions related to her feelings and preferences.

 

Funnily enough, the prompt was "is it better to be perceived as weird or normal?" which ties back into what we were talking about yesterday! She chose weird. 

 

She told me that she enjoyed this version of writing and wants to continue to use it with future essays. Thank you so much for your help!!! I'm optimistic this technique will help her feel more confident and less anxious about writing the more we do it.

J F-2

Step Up Tutoring

 

 The tutors that do get back to me report impressive results. JF-2 took the foundational ideas I gave her to a) find a way to work that reduces the student's anxiety, b) make sure she anchors her words in her thoughts and feelings not what she thinks someone wants her to say, and c) model where necessary. This woman could run with it and make a difference in one session. Amazing! I never told her to eliminate all visual evidence of the assignment. That was her idea. Right on!

   I started watching Movie, Movie. It's two completely different movies in one. It's a throwback to the fifties. The first movie was too tense. It is about a naïve boy who gets seduced by glitz and abandons love and integrity. I wanted to watch it because I heard someone talk about Ann Reinking's performance in the first of the two movies, particularly a dance she performed. Wow! Wow! and Wow!.  The price of the movie was worth that dance. The woman is amazing/ was amazing.

  I watched the end of the first to see the ending. It was a happy one. The naïve boy returned to his family values based on love and caring and abandoned the glitz. Then I watched a Brokenwood mystery. Usually, I can stop in the middle and watch the second half the following day—this one, I had to see through to the end. I went to bed close to 11 pm instead of being lights out by 10.