Wednesday, February 16, 2022

 Wednesday, February 16, 2022   

   I woke up around three this morning full of vim and vigor, and the well of sorrow was gone. What was going on? Where did my deep sorrow go? While energized, I didn't want to get up that early. The plan was to stay in bed at least until the alarm rang. I did fall asleep. When I woke up, the sun was up. I must have slept through the alarm. Oh, dear.

   After my morning walk, I opened up Wordle with the New York Times. I entered my starter words: quick, ready, and stump. After I entered them, I realized I should have entered stomp instead. I made another error. I entered the same incorrect word twice, blowing one of my turns. However, I have learned that you can keep trying new words until the 24-hour period is up. Just delete your incorrect entry in the sixth place and try something new. I must have tried at least 15 times one day. Today, despite two errors, I got it on my sixth try. The errors concerned me. What is going on in my mind that I made those two errors? I can't say I was fuzzy this morning. I chose stump last night. It should be stomp. That way, I tested 15 letters by the third try.  

   Last night, I iced my left foot and treated it with the infrared lamp. After my walk, my foot throbbed. I was more diligent about doing all the exercises recommended by the PTs. I lay on my stomach on the massage table for ten minutes. Ah, when I got on the table, I could lift my leg high to the height of the table. I couldn't do that yesterday. Use it or lose it. I did MELT on my feet, hands, and whole body. 

 I headed out to Kaiser for my appointment with the podiatrist. Judy called just as I was about to leave. She was taking care of Zi because Jazzy was sick. Luke must have caught something at school and brought it home. Jazzy and Leon were both down with a stomach virus.

    I was not looking forward to the appointment with the foot doctor. I was expecting something like, "wear supportive shoes," period. I suspect the supportive shoe industry has advertised their wares to doctors and trained them to hawk them, as in, "Try oxycontin." Shoes can do as much harm as good. An automated response without careful explanation wouldn't cut it with me.  

    I was very pleasantly surprised. The doctor was a font of information, although the news wasn't good. He said the capsules surrounding my joints have broken down, putting dangerous stress on my metatarsals. The disintegration of the capsule caused the second toe on my right foot to wander on top of my first one. He said my left foot would have the same problem. However, he gave me exercises. The problem is made worst by tight calf muscles and weak toe muscles. The solution: calf stretches and toe flexions. I can do that. Bring it on: six more exercises. I think my foot problem was guaranteed by the leg injury caused by Mike: Michael's muscle. The injury limited the way I could walk and created, or made worse, the conditions which created these problems with my feet. It's serious. The doctor asked how much I walked. I told him I was down to 5 to 6 thousand from 10,000. He wasn't thrilled but understood I had to keep moving. I may have to give up walking as a method of exercise. However, he did give me some ideas. He said I put too much weight on the front of the foot versus the heel. If I lead more with the heel, I may take pressure off the front of my foot. 

   The doctor did say something about osteoporosis and the danger of stress fractures in my feet. Oh, dear. This is not good. However, one thing is crystal clear. This problem is not generated by my arthritic hip. My modified gait may have caused it, but a THR will not fix it. The podiatrist did give me a sheet with exercises and metatarsal pads. I've been resisting the pads because they are so hard to place correctly in the shoe. I don't have a choice. I will have to learn how to do it. I ordered a dozen more on Amazon immediately.

   I found a glitch in Dr. Perfect Podiatrist. He gave me two metatarsal pads. He told me that while they were labeled left and right, they were the same shape and could go in their shoe. Wrong. The shape difference is slight. One side is slightly, ever so slightly, straighter than the other, which is more curved. I didn't see the difference until I felt it. I put the right one in the left shoe. It kept on hitting the metatarsal and hurting. That's when I took a good look. While the difference is slight, vive la difference.

   I spoke to a friend who had husband problems: addiction, alcohol and gambling, and occasionally drugs. So sad. She loves the guy. When he's good, they're good together. There are so many ways he's a loving, supportive husband. But  . . . . The problems he has are not small ones that can be easily overlooked. Living with someone like that is like living with Jekyll and Hyde. 

  My friend Melissa called just as I was getting ready to leave for my doctor's appointment. I called her back as I drove home. She had just returned from her several-month stint in the Australian outback as a volunteer doctor doing pediatrics and general surgery. She does these stints in Seattle and Australia. When she goes to Seattle, she goes alone. Her shifts are twelve hours on and twelve hours off, and she's only gone for a few weeks. When she goes to Australia, she is there for two to three months. She lives in a cement house on the hospital grounds. Her husband goes with her and takes care of all the details of living. Melissa is an outgoing person the way I am. I observed her greeting her husband one day when I was visiting. She jumped up like a schoolgirl and rushed to greet him. I often did that with Mike. I don't know if we were more devoted to each other or built these exchanges into our relationship, which made it better. Either way, it was a wonderful aspect of having Mike around. 

  I made my second attempt to make the Phase III video. I need some experience actually teaching this to someone. I need feedback as to what makes sense and what doesn't.