Thursday, March 3, 2022

 Thursday, March 3, 2022

 

   I was unusually warm last night for this time of year. I threw off my extra blanket; I had to open the sliding door to let in the maximum amount of air. This produced a good breeze. Then in the early hours, it cooled down. I wrapped myself in my fuzzy blanket to ensure warmth. Unfortunately, I was suffering a bout of anger as well. (I will only discuss my feelings, not what someone else did, especially if they can be identified.) 

   I got up when the alarm went off at 5:30 because I wanted to leave the house by 6:15 to make it for the 7 am Mass. I had to get my morning walk with Elsa and feed her before leaving. I had a wonderful picture of Mike and some extra funeral programs to pass out. I returned to the sacristy when I arrived to speak to the priest about displaying the picture of Mike. Fr. Lio was doing the Mass.  

   The Father said the Mass wasn't for Mike today but yesterday. I knew he had said the Mass for him yesterday. I thought he did that because he wanted to because of his love for Mike. But no, it resulted from some confusion on his secretary's part. Fr. Lio thought she told him the Mass was on March 2 because the 3rd, the anniversary of his death, had already been reserved. As a result, Fr. Lio said the Mass for Mike at 7 am on Ash Wednesday. The bulletin was on the table in front of Lio. I said, "Look at the bulletin." He saw then that Mike's Mass was listed for the 3rd. Okay, He'd do it.

  He hadn't been thrilled to have his pre-mass preparation interrupted. Nonetheless, he went way beyond the call of duty to display Mike's picture. He found a stool and a picture stand and placed them in front of the altar. He then invited everyone to look at the picture after the Mass.  

    I knew some people at the 7 am Mass and had a chance to connect. That was nice. They're loose connections but comforting.

    Fr. Lio wanted to talk to me about Mike's gravesite. He had a plan. After Mass, we walked into the cemetery. He showed me what he did for another important church member, a woman who had been a nun. It was straightforward: her name and birth and death dates. While I don't care much about the gravesite, I do about what it says on the stones. Go figure!

   Fr. Lio had told me there would be a cement grave cover. He would roll it aside when I died to access the vault beneath. Then he watched professionals wrestle with one of those slabs. Forget it. It's very difficult. He also told me I only had a small space to place the gravestone. I bought two granite slabs. I would need a bit more space than he was assigning me. He had placed a thin prefab slab over the gravesite. We could negotiate; he would put down two of those prefab slabs. That would give me enough room. I am concerned they will crack under the weight. If so, Judy's idea of using pavers as a base will be a brilliant solution.

    I went to Safeway afterward. I was looking for AZO. I found some in a locked cabinet with no one around to open it. I picked up some other needed things and went to Long's to look for the Azo. 

     I decided to take advantage of the time and get a car wash. While there, I remember I had a 9:15 with the accountant to pick up my taxes and pay her bill. I would be there half an hour early, but there was no point in going home first. When I got there, she was free. She handed me a hefty bill. That was the bad news. The good news was the state owed me money, one of my retirement accounts had paid a withholding tax, and I only owed the feds about $1000 more. Miss kitty arranged for that to be paid the next day. Done!

   I tried to nap when my phone rang. It was Shelly. We usually have our session on Friday. I hadn't organized my schedule for the day first thing in the morning. I typically check my appointments and set my alarm to remind me. I didn't do that today.

   I worked on my role in an uncomfortable relationship. That's where it has to start if I want to see a change regardless of behavioral responsibility. After the session, I meditated on what we worked on, dozing on and off for an hour.  

     When I got up from that nap, I posted the daily blog entry and did the Wordle puzzle for the day. I usually get the answer by the fourth entry. Today, it took five tries, and the word was mourn, the perfect word for the day.

     Judy called and told me her new stove had been delivered. She spent yesterday cleaning her old one in preparation for having it taken away. The deliverymen will find a way to recycle the old oven-with any luck. Their handyman would come by tomorrow to install a microwave under the cabinet over the stove. Judy and I keep putting off our appointment to review the Phase II video. I feel insecure about how to present this information. 

    I had put a call to Kaiser for a consultation with a nurse. On Wednesday, I had a urine test and had yet to hear back. By this time, there was no doubt that I had a UTI. I called KP for another consultation. I spoke to a PA. She looked at my results. The bacteria count wasn't high enough, but I told her there was no question now. She ordered an antibiotic. I left immediately to get it. When I got to the Kaiser pharmacy, there was no record of the prescription. The pharmacist had to track down a doctor to put in the order. I had to cancel my 4:30 with adolescent D. 

   Isaac texted me to say he was free for a walk tonight. I hadn't seen him in an age. He was happily busy with his friends and going to the gym. At the end of our walk, he said he prioritized his gym exercise. I thought he was explaining why he spent less time with me. That's fine. I was happy that he got on with his life. But he wasn't saying that. He said he regretted making his time at the gym a priority instead of me. I was a 'rare commodity,' and he had a limited time with me. He could always go to the gym some other time. While his thought was sweet, ignoring his need to keep in shape wasn't the best idea.