Sunday, March 6, 2022

Sunday, March 6, 2022 

 

    I attended the 9 am Mass. It was the first time I'd gone since Sandor's first Mass as Deacon. I wept through that event. I sat in the second pew behind Judy, Karen, and Don. It was freezing cold in the church. Judy invited me to join her, but I preferred the kneelers where I was. The church was packed. This was the first Mass we could sit where we wanted instead of six feet apart in every other row. I felt connected. Seeing the stream of people getting the Eucharist was a pleasure, even though I didn't know most. 

  I had checked the new arrangement on Mike's grave with the two prefab slabs. I told Mike I thought they would be perfect. Fr. Lio was there too. I thank him for the arrangement. It was better than I expected. The base is now three feet by 4 feet with the two slabs. Really perfect!

       I talked to Sandor after the Mass about the problems with being extroverted. He said yes, "It hurts when people aren't friendly." It has nothing to do with ''taking it personally.'  It's an automatic human reaction to feel pain when shunned or excluded.

    Sandor gave a great homily, if a bit long. I told him I loved it but could hear Mike say, "Too long!" He said, "I know. I know. Meali'inani told me to take off two minutes. She told me she doesn't like my homilies. I sound arrogant." 

   I tracked down Meali'inani, who was teaching Sunday school to the fifth-graders on the north lanai. I sympathized with her, telling her I didn't think Sandor sounded arrogant. I told her I couldn't stand Mike's homilies because I thought his homilies sounded arrogant. The sound of his lecturing voice got on my nerves. I didn't like being lectured by my husband. She laughed.      

    When I spoke with Sandor, I said I was an extrovert and distressed when people ignored me. He's an extrovert too. He said it physically hurts when people don't greet him. I fully understand. It has nothing to do with taking it personally. In support of my theory, I just read research on the topic. Researchers created a situation with a test subject and two or three plants. The plants would connect with each other and not acknowledge the test subject. Every test subject responds with distress, visible distress. It is one of the most challenging situations for people to deal with. I am glad for the confirmation.

      As I walked down the steps of the church, I saw Gail, a woman I knew from the tutoring center. She asked me if I would be interested in volunteering for the Golf Tournament Fund Raising event. It sounded like just what I needed. We caught up. It was good to renew the connection.

        A woman approached Gail and me. It was 10:30 now. She wanted to be back for the 1 pm Mass. Did we know of a nearby beach? Gail and I tossed ideas back and forth. I suggested the harbor beach. I offered to lead them there. The beach was on my way home, and it would take as long to tell her how t get there as it would to take her there. Also, if they had gone on their own, it would have taken forever to figure out where to turn to get to the beach and how to find the pathway there. 

    I did almost no writing today; I didn't feel like it. I only spoke to Judy. Yvette came up and did massage and Graston on my calves. Later in the afternoon, I bathed Elsa. She still has lesions under her chin. She is doing much better between the Kangen water, the frequent baths with medicinal soap, and the salve the vet gave me.

   Isaac called as I prepared dinner to ask if he could come over. He wanted to get out of the house and work somewhere else. The coffee shops in town closed at 6 pm. I said sure. He sat at my dining room table while I ate dinner. Instead of watching TV, I read. We worked, we talked, we worked, etc. He's lovely company. I invited him to come over whenever he liked. If he doesn't want to be interrupted, I'll watch TV in the other room. I love the companionship. Love having people hang out in my house. I could turn my home into a coffee shop with free WIFI. 

   I made some comments to Isaac about being different. He said I was an acquired taste. I wonder why he thought so. It was my conceptual thinking that made me different from others. Some people think conceptually like me., and some don't.

    B stopped by just before bedtime to say goodnight and drop off the mail. I told him I appreciated his telling me he was home every night. I can feel my heart relax just a little. I also know that there is no way he would hear me if I screamed between his snoring and the air conditioner noise.   He said to call or text; that's always set on L-O-U-D. He would hear that. 

   I continued watching Pieces of Her. Toni Collette has to play one note throughout the whole series. Egad! She manages to continue to be interesting. You can believe she is a deeply depressed human. I didn't get fed up with her acting, but I did with her character.