Friday, May 6, 2022

Friday, May 6, 2022

  I had a bad night's sleep. I worried about the outcome of the THR most of the night. I wasn't concerned about the operation. Two body workers told me I wouldn't be happy with the outcome. When I asked the PT what that meant, she said my tight muscles would cause a problem. My body wouldn't know what to do with the implant. I still didn't know what 'not happy with it' meant. Would I be less happy with it than I am with my current body condition? Would I be in permanent agony for the rest of my life? Would I need more time to adapt to it than most people? What does this mean? I keep forgetting to push for that information. What a position to be in! I can either live anticipating the pain of a collapsed femoral head sometime in the future versus immediate distress.

  Today was my last chance to get the house cleaned before Damon, Cylin, and August arrived. I started with their bathroom. Then I finished off the floor by the front door. There's no foyer. The front door opens into the living area. Then I cleaned the kitchen. I did a good sweep and spot-washing. The crew would only be here for 5 nights. It was good enough. I would have to wash the floor after they left anyway. 

   My body was next on my list. I took a shower, a MELT treatment for my hands and feet, and washed the bathroom floor. I cleaned the countertops before my shower while I did my Vit. C facial mask. Then, I bathed Elsa before I took a nap. Both Damon and August are allergic to dogs, including Elsa. Sadly, I could see her skin was much worse. She had a lesion on her nose. I had never seen a lesion on her head before, no less her nose. When I got up from my nap, I had to start consuming half a gallon of water in preparation for the ultrasound on my bladder. While I drank the water, I finished the touch-ups, clearing cluttered areas and wiping down surfaces one last time. 

  I was disturbed by the weather forecast. It had been raining nonstop for several days. We never get weather like this. It's rare to get a single day of constant rain. Now, we were getting day after day of it, and it wasn't even hurricane season. I knew this was a vacation for Damon as well as a visit to me.   First, this is the first time they've been here since February 2020. Second, this is the first time they've been here when it hasn't been a dad-centered affair. They came for the funeral in 2019, and in 2020 they came for the internment. Third, it was the first time I had people I cared about and with whom I had a long-term relationship in the house since their last visit. It was going to be an adjustment on several counts. 

   I had an appointment with the bereavement counselor from the Hospice Center. I didn't want to participate in the in-person spousal bereavement group before my operation because of Covid. We talked for about half an hour. I did most of the talking. She finally said that most of the people she worked with had no one in their life they could share their feelings with. I was not in that position. She was available if I needed her, but we would not meet regularly. These sessions are free. I had to remember to make a donation.

   My alarm went off, reminding me to leave for my ultrasound appointment. I saw an unfamiliar car parked in the driveway as I approached the front door. The Damons were here already. I managed to get in hugs before I left for my medical appointment. 

   I got in quickly. The tech did a reading on my abdomen to check my bladder and asked, "When did you finish drinking?" I was told by the person who called me to drink half a gallon half an hour before the exam. When I checked the internet, it said to drink 28-32 oz an hour before. I set my alarm for 1:30 and started drinking. I had finished six cups of water by 2:00 and took a flask with another two cups, which I drank on the way. The tech said I was supposed to have finished half a gallon by an hour before the exam. It takes 45 minutes to an hour for liquid to pass to our bladder. How many of us drank some water and had to pee within minutes? That's what it means to have it go through us like water. So much for the theory that water moves through us quickly. The tech said there was nothing in my bladder yet. I shifted position so she could check my kidneys which she had to do anyway. She focused the viewer on my love handles. Huh? She said that was the best way to view them with an ultrasound. That was a surprise. Also, I forget that the kidneys are so low. I think of them as being above the waist. Guess not. 

   When I returned, Cylin said, "In the name of full disclosure, I have to tell you I've been exposed to Covid. Do you want us to move to a hotel?" Great, their first visit in two years, and I wouldn't even spend time with them. Desperate situations call for desperate measures. While I usually chose to err on the side of caution, I, too. had had it. The risk was not being terribly ill; it was postponing the surgery. You have to wait seven weeks after Covid before you can have surgery. Great! That would throw everything out of kilter. I had gotten to the' I don't care' state. Hopefully, I wouldn't regret it.  

     They had learned about the exposure from a text when their plane landed in Kona. Not much they could do about it then. Damon's good friend Eddie was sick. He was in NYC for a friend's wedding and the confirmation of another friend's son. He was going to stay with the latter friend. Now he was stuck in a hotel in Brooklyn, of all places. He wasn't near any of his friends. He was sick enough to have collapsed on his way to the bathroom. We were all worried about him. Fortunately, Eddie has many good friends that will do what is necessary to support him.

    The Damons went to Safeway to buy food. They were making noise about leaving early to get some sunshine in. I didn't want them here if they would be very unhappy. I didn't want unhappiness associated with me; then, they would never want to come back. I proposed they leave on Monday for Honolulu and sunshine and then return. I wanted him to get his fill of what he needed rather than hold his breath while he visited with me.

   It was a catch as catch can dinner. I didn't eat anything; I wasn't hungry. I had lost my appetite.  August went to bed early, shortly after they got home from Safeway. He was knocked out. Damon, Cylin, and I had a pleasant evening conversation around the dinner table. They were determined to stay up till 8:30, 11:30 for them, well past their bedtime.